I must say a word about fear.
it is life's only true opponent.
Only fear can defeat life.
it is a clever, treacherous adversary.
It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease.
It begins in your mind, always.
One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy.
Then fear, disguised in the garb of doubt, slips into your mind like a spy.
Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out.
But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier, doubt does away with it with little trouble.
You become anxious.
Reason is the cavarly which comes to your defence.
You are reassured.
Reason is full equipped with the latest weapons technology.
But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low.
You feel yourself weakening, wavering.
Anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns to your body, which is already fully aware that something of paramount destruction is taking place.
Already your lungs have taken flight like a bird, and your guts slithered off like a snake.
Now your tongue drops dead, while your jaw gallops uncontrollably on the spot.
Your ears go deaf.
Your muscles begin to shiver and your knees to shake.
Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much, and so with the rest of your body.
Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, surrenders to fear.
Only your eyes work well.
Eyes always pay proper attention to fear.

The matter is difficult to put into words.
For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundations,
such as you feel when brought face to face with your mortal end,
nestles in your memory like gangrene; it seeks to rot everything;
even the words with which to speak of it.
So you must valiantly fight to express it.
You must wage war to shine the light of words upon it.
Because if you do not, it fears becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid,
perhaps even manage to suppress,
you leave yourself vulnerable to further attacks of fear.
For you have never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.

All the years you never thought it mattered
because you never saw me cry.
Wonder never asked why do you hurt me, treat me like you do?
What have I ever done to deserve this from you?
Would you do the things you do if you were me and I was you?

Looking back I see the pain that we put each other through.
But we didn't realise the damage sticks and stones who do.
'Cause it was deep inside that wonder was bleeding.
From every action there's a reaction,
broken hearts don't just happen.

If you put yourself in my position
there's no good answer to the question
Why do you hurt me, treat me like you do?
What have I ever done to deserve this from you?
Would you do the things you do if you were me and I was you?

Glasgow Uni - Seventy-six - one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.

Strathclyde - Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Scotland using that nuked light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch, thus utilising their entire research budget for the next thirty years and forcing the closure of entire buildings.

Caledonian - Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

Edinburgh - One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

St Andrews - Five - one to arrange the party, two to co-ordinate the press conference, one to call the electrician, and one to get daddy to pay for it all.

Heriot-Watt - Three - one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Napier - Only one, but he gets 10 course credits for it.

Dundee - Ten - one to buy and fit the bulb, and nine to petition for the introduction of electricity to Dundee.

Aberdeen - Two - One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.

Stirling - None - Stirling looks better in the dark.

The RSAMD - Five - one to change the bulb, one to sing to the bulb, two to argue about it and one to sit at the bar.

Paisley - One - changing a lightbulb is the entry requirement.