Too warm to sleep, too tired to do anything, so I turn to the internet, as always.

Really enjoyed Saoirse's party, although I still find it weird she has the use of an entire house thats not hers.... bet she actually killed the owners, and theyre down the basement...? Just a thought.

TV at 4 in the morning sucks. Kerrang tv sucks, MTV sucks, VH1 sucks, scuzz sucks and everything after that is barely worth mentioning... theyre losers. They show the same arseholes all the time for months, years on end, and Im sick of it. I cant believe these people are still in the job. Since when was some spoiled 16 year old brat more important than decent music. I mean how do the human cockroaches over at MTV studios live with themselves knowing everything is on a loop?

Hilariously the only way to see decent MTV is to go on Youtube and watch clips from the old episodes. I guess Im out of luck. My music choice isnt completely obscure, at least not all the time, but just obscure enough that itll never be shown on MTV. My dislike for typical bands on MTV like MCR, Metallica, Iron maiden, AC/DC, fallout boy etc makes the internet about the only place I can find this stuff.
Generally Youtube is the only place I can find any of the videos, and even they are being slowly taken down by universal music group. Right now listening to an old Industrial band
, Armageddon dildos. Fantastic stuff. Like an early rammstein with English lyrics.

Anyway, hoping to go to Hanzel Und Gretyl, Rammstein, and VNV nation eventually... so waiting for those tickets to come out on sale. Hoping to buy an electro drumkit also, regardless of saoirses 'reservations'. Either way, €99 doesnt get you a car of any sort, but it can get you a decent electrodrum kit.

I think when your social life increases, as you get older, you lose sight of the music you love. Especially relationships I think... It seems like you sustitute music for people, until youre in a better position with people. Strange, but true, as far as I can see.


Have to get up at 8 to feed that fucking calf, check on the cows, make sure they havent climbed any trees, or learned how to fly, or something inconvenient like that.

Ive barely gotten up before 3 since college ended, now Im up and wandering around like a zombie after about 3 hours sleep. I wonder if anyone else has a similar problem, or as weird a sleep pattern as mine. Id take sleeping pills, but Ive enough shit to take every morning and night without that.

That chinese takeaway I had earlier is circuling my stomach like car keys in a washing machine. Quite unpleast... no wonder I cant sleep. Must slow down on the junk food. Its not as if Im some fat bastard, Im still relatively skinny for now. But fuck, I really cant imagine where I get my nutrition from. Still, better diet here than in Maynooth.

Passed all my exams... which I knew before the party. I think I neglected to mention that for some reason, oh well. Doesnt seem as important now...

Feel like shit. Ive got a really sharp pain in my back and shoulder, and Ive had a rather painful asthmatic cough for the last three days. I think it was brought on by dust and dirt this time. I think they call it a 'bronchospasm' and its a pain in the arse. Asthma is a weird thing, Ive had it all my life and I know fuck all about it. Ive just treated it and got in with my life. So tonight I decided I might as well do something semi-productive and find out more about it. Sometimes I feel like wearing a facemask, or respirator all the time. It would help, appearantly. Not very flattering though Id say.

No self sympathy, as always, I just wish there wasnt always something wrong. Maybe I need to eat more greens or something, who knows. Seems like everyones sick.

Makes you think, who the fuck ever designed us, coz I want my money back from the manufacturer. Were all faulty units in some way.

[Disclaimer: I, Mark, being of sound mind, and enfeebled body, did this for the lolz, I dont want complaints about heartbreak provoked by this thing]

Boys are dumb, so are girls. Generally speaking, from what Ive observed. Both want something, but will do absolutely everything in their power to mask this fact.

Girls may want sex, but cannot say so, or are considered slutty by their girlfreinds, jealous parties, etc. Lads may want a meaningful relationship, but upon conversing about it, are immediately gay, and overemotional, as declared by the guy code, and any lads in the room.

In my experience your typical boy/girl stupidity goes roughly as follows:

Stage 1:
Group of girls go out, because although girls may be looking for fellas, they are generally still content to be 'preyed on', (fact) perhaps by accident, perhaps not, whatever. They may have been drinking, and band together to keep each other out of the 'wrong hands'.

Group of lads, because lads need confidence and instruction from each other, and to stop from drunken members of the party getting with total mingers. Even bad instructions push them to spring into action. They may also be too drunk and stupid to operate under their own steam. Also, lads in this situation ironically seem less conspicious about their want of sex, etc.

Girl waits for lad to seperate so she can size him up away from the overly macho environment, and observe his normal, uninfluenced behaviour.

Lad waits for girl to seperate from the group, ie, on dance floor, going to bar, so he doesnt have to risk being crushed iand rejected in front of every girl in the place, and can act as if their meeting is by chance.

(N.B)Entire groups of girls are possibly one of the most horrifyingly intimidating concept on earth for lads, btw, in case girls havent noticed. Lads who charge this daunting obstacle head-on risk much, but may stand to gain so much more).

Stage 2:
The boy goes up to girl, asks stupid, clichéd question or embarassingly bad chat-up line (where ya from?, being my particular blunt weapon of choice). Another is 'buy you a drink?', or simply, 'dance?'. If he says something like 'I like your hair/shoes/handbag' hes either a complete psycho or gay, RUN AWAY!!!


Girls may commence continuosly talking utter shite, believing something extremely
specific of hers is of interest to anyone in the entire world. (drink in particular will have this result).

Boy then inadvertantly begins to feign interest, even though he probably doesnt understand whats going on, or being said. (drink in particular will have this result).

Stage 3:

The girl analyses the boys ability to listen mindlessly, (as this is a sign of their discipline and maturity perhaps???) and often to a lesser extent their bodily physique. (Minus points if the lad lives with his parents, mentions computer games, or talks to his mates during conversation.) Girls opinions differ as to the value of 'arty' romantics, or sporty jocks.

(N.B.)The worst possible move a man can do at this stage is to open their mouth and reveal their actual opinions, because as girls know, lads are universally wrong. (appearantly?!?).

Boy observes girls ability to shut up, and observes bodily physique. (Minus point if the girl has an annoying voice, laugh, , mentions committment, or talks to her girlfreinds during conversation). Lads opinions differ as to the value of submissive, timid types, or slutty, wild chicks.

If both sides are reasonably successful in their efforts, both begin a strange routine of swapping mention of the sligtest things they may have in common, even if these must first be made up, or completel exaggerated.

Accounts vary wildly as to the viability of a girl/guy who claims to have a boyfreind/girlfreind, Research indicates this is a good way to have head kicked for lads, and a good way to be labelled a skanky ho for girls, but may also be seen by some challenge seekers as an invitation to t

Now, Id be lying if I said I wasnt a little phased by the international mindfuck that is the global credit crunch... things will be a little tougher, and we might have to start eating more tinned food, but generally, how bad can things get??? In the medium term at least...

I seem to be keeping a lot cooler about the whole thing then some people. Heres why:

1)I have food to eat. Some people wouldnt count a diet of salt, preservatives and carbohydrates healthy, but Ive survived off pot noodle this long, so it cant get much harder.
2)I have shoes on my feet. Well, boots, generally; Doc Martins, and those bloody things just last about a hundred million years, dont they?
3)I have a roof over my head. Not always mine... Im easy, like a hermit crab, Ill live damn near anywhere that can support any form of life. My apartment bears testiment to human adaptability.
4)I dont have a car, but provided I go about 3 hours earlier than I should have to, public transport will get me there, eventually. (provided my dreadful sense of direction doesnt leave me stranded in Grannard...again...)
5)Im not entirely unhappy with a situation whereby Im unable to get a job. I wouldnt say Im work-shy... just happy to coast by.
6)I have some great freinds and associates, who not only look out for me, generally, but are more than bearable to hang around with from time to time. So Im doing pretty well in that department.
7)Although drinking in pubs is now considered a commodity for the rich, and going to the pub is now seemingly a bi-monthly event for some people, drinking at home, and making a complete fool of yourself with just a few good freinds can often be just as fun. Especially when one of those freinds is sober enough to prop you up as far as the club... to make a further ass of yourself, and maybe recieve a few slaps to the jaw.
My stocks of CDs and DVDs will do me for many decades to come... so entertainment of the non alcoholic kind is also covered.
9)Last time the economic situation was like this punk rock was born, so Im hoping something similar or better will show up this time, and hopefully well see chicks in ripped fishnets and chains with sexy pink mohawks roaming the streets of Dublin eventually!
10)Money? I never had that to start with... so fuck the hills, fuck my super sweet 16, fuck Paris fucking Hilton, and fuck every spoiled little trust fund brat, born with a silver spoon up their arse. Their plastic face isnt even that pretty, and their 'freinds' are all talking about them behind their back!

People(who?!?) say the best things in life are free? Maybe not always... maybe some of the best things are expensive, but payed for by someone else!

You might think my reasons short sighted, immature, superficial... but anyone who thinks that cant see the big picture. Money is money... we just have to find less materialistic leisure activities... I can think of quite a few...