How many people have you kissed in the past 3 months?
One, my hubby!

Whats your middle name?
Englebert!

who would you rather spend the day with mum or dad?
both.

Where will you be 12 hours from now?
Sat with an afternoon sherry replying to fan mail!

Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?
Naturally. My tits do that to people!

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
Something pink!

Does anyone hate you for no reason?
Oh yes. Fat Rob Kipling. Jealous my tits aren't as flabby as hers no doubt!

Can you make yourself cry?
Only if i mistake cactus for tampax!

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
5

Is your life simple or complicated?
Simple. I chose for it to be that way now.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
no. Unless i was Doctor Who!

What are your favorite colors?
Pink & Rouge

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
lost count

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an S?
Yea. He was crap.

Have you ever passed out from drinking too much?
Nope

What are you doing tomorrow?
Shimmying about the house to Kylie

Are you easily confused?
Yes. That's the medication!

Do you think​ your last ex will event​ually​ want to be with you again​?
HAHA! Only if it was part of a scheme to murder me!

What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
Carte Dor Strawberry!

Are you taller than 5'4"?
Yes

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
That's the description of EVERY boyfriend i had pre-John.

Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
Oh yes, i am naturally Bottle Blonde!

What color are your socks?
various garish colours!

Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it?
yes

Do you fall for people easily?
Not anymore

True or False: everything happens for a reason.
True. I know this because the shite i had this year lead to me being stronger and happier.

Have you ever dated someone more than once?
yes. mistake.

What was the reason behind the last time you cried?
because i was in pain.

Have you ever liked anyone on your top friends?
yes. but not in a sexual way. except John of course.

Are you currently in a relationship with anyone?
Yes

Do you find members of the opposite sex confusing?
No, i'm practically a woman anyway!

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?
My Son and my wee Gran

are you single/taken?
Taken every which way!

is it easy to make you cry?
Not anymore!

do you find it hard to trust others?
yes

do you get jealous easily?
depends on the circumstances

what about mad?
part of my 'not anymore' thing

how fast does your mood change?
it's always a cunt of a mood! LOL, no, it goes with the flow, man!

i bet you miss somebody right now?
yes.

can you honestly say your okay right now?
Yes and No.

do u tell people your okay when u'r not?
Nope. I have people who listen.

why do u think so mɑny people cheɑt on their bf/gf?
Ego boosts, upbringing, lack of feelings, lack of remorse, need i go on?!

girls ɑre bitches, am i right?
yes i am!

wɑt did u wɑnty be wen u wer wee?
Wonder Woman!

is it eɑsy to get over some one?
Yes, once you realise not to care about someone who doesn't care for you and never did.

wen wer u on the phone lɑst? ɑnd too who?
hours ago, my nightly weeknight call to my son.

wɑt ɑr uu excited for?
a happy Xmas with a man who really loves me and getting my tattoo! YAY!

hɑv u ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
yes! Lol yes, i dress as a man sometimes!

wɑts th lɑst piercing u got?
Belly Button (long gone though!)

hɑv u ever hɑd ɑlcohol poisoning?
Strangely enough no!

could u go ɑ month without cursing?
nope. i swear every fucking 5 minutes!

ɑre u comfortɑble with u'r height?
Nope! I should be 6'3" and called Rupaul! LOL

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Sat here on my own for a change with a few moments to breathe in the changes of the past few months.

Nothing is ever plain sailing but i now have the ability to make my own decisions and to hell with everyone else.

Sounds selfish but for the first time in my life i am doing what i want and i honestly don't care who doesn't approve or 'allow'...

I can go to bed when i want, i can go into an alcoholic stupor and i can decide what is best for ME, not what's best for every other cunt.

One thing i will say is that some decisions i have made lately will not please some people but i really don't give a fuck. Why should i bother helping people who have not helped me?

I don't care what happens to certain people, i am not purposefully going out of my way to make their lives easier...I am doing what is best for my physical and mental state.

I am sick of being mentally unbalanced because of others. I am helping ME. and ME alone.

So fucking stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

I will say that after chewing over the past years events, it is OBVIOUS that someone, somewhere in a very high up position is helping to keep some utter filth on the loose.

Those in the know will know i speak the truth. As i ALWAYS do.

Miss H
xx

As the end of the year dawns, i thought i'd reflect on what i have had to deal with this year and where i am now. (Yes, the year end is almost upon us!)

1. January 2009, i had an operation to reverse my stoma. I was nervous yet excited at the prospect of being 'normal' and being able to maybe get on with being a proper parent and maybe having some sort of career...

2. Februaury 2009. Spent the whole month in hospital after my operation went tits up. Oh yea, they did reverse it but i got home after 2 days and was VERY ill. I was vomiting up black stuff and nearly died. No word of a lie. They had to cut me open, wash me out, removed my sigmoid colon (which i never knew about until May) and left me with a foot long scar, permanent new stoma, permanent lung damage and fluid on the lungs. Please note that during the 48 hours during my nightmare at home, my so called 'partner' at the time went to work for 9 hours and left me quivvering in agony throwing up black vomit knowing full well that i had peritinitis and could die. They also called 4 people for a 'chat' BEFORE they bothered calling me an ambulance.

3. March 2009. Out of hospital. Healing nicely but left with a lot of problems.

4. April 2009. This is the worst month of my life. Ever. Even worse than nearly dying. I have to throw out my 'partner'. He punched me 3 times in the face. This is done to me when i am STILL shaky on my feet after my operations. The police end up involved and i receive a summons to appear as a witness against him in court. Of course, i am not supposed to tell anyone this. Even though his court appearances are public knowledge via the court website! The 'Things' family decide to claim i battered him for no reason. Ha! In my physical condition, it would have been a MIRACLE for me to batter a grape, never mind a cunt. I'm not allowed to defend myself with the truth though. Some smart arse tries to burn my house down thinking my ex still lives there. I start to drink very heavily, feel so angry, hurt, upset...

5. May 2009. Another terrible month. I take an overdose and end up in hospital. I suffer a 'mental breakdown' and keep drinking like there's no tomorrow. I can't see any way to get through this. I trash my house. Smash the back door, burn things, break things...I do everything i can to try and ease the feelings of loss, regret, sadness, pain.

6. June 2009. A bit better. Court dates start to get put back. The first of many. I start to pick up the pieces of my life. Have a few men over the past few months and the next few. Not worth the hassle i think!

7. July 2009. Book up to go on holiday. Spain! Meet a nice man called John. Could this be a bona fida nice man?

8. August 2009. Start seeing John. Properly. Still having problems going out. STILL haven't been out on my own since 2000. At least i can now decide when I want to go out. and not when someone tells me.

9. September 2009. Suffer from Plueracy. Antibiotics. Lungs damaged from February. Stomach pains worse than ever. Muscle damage caused by illness. Nothing to be done but soldier on.

10. October 2009. A HUGE turning poing. Went to Spain with Myra. Tanned, relaxed and feeling wonderful. A lot of people mistook me for an ex-pat. THAT is how relaxed i was. OLE! Suffered some pain and discomfort but it was worth it.

11. November 2009. The Present. Still with John. Not living at 'THAT' flat anymore. I'm in hiding. LOL. Why should i put up with being watched. My every move reported back to some idiot? I AM FREE. I AM ME. I AM RIGHT. Justice? Doubt there is such a thing now, but at least i am not controlled, abused and being hurt anymore. I love John. And he loves me. He is the FIRST man to ever say 'i love you so much'. And i believe he means it.

I am much happier now. I may have permanent health problems now and constant pain but i am enjoying life for a change.

I still have the BEST son in the world who i see every week. He is a fab wee character!

I also