The International Council of Man Laws.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

11: Only in situations of mortal and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15: women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360 End of story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

27: It is not permissible to make eye contact when watching porn with your mates. Furthermore, this is only one of two circumstances under which it is allowed to have an erection with friends in the room, the other being when you are 'spit roasting' a woman.

28: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed belo

"Kэppсkй" - I go out my way to make you real. says:
ohbtw

"Kэppсkй" - I go out my way to make you real. says:
you're coming to mine on saturday for drinks aye?

scoot. says:
well, airch suggested it and i was like lolkay. but hearing it from you is more assuring. considering airch is inside is own little head. where he is a deep alcohol elf from the woods of elderon, and he is on a quest to acheiive the secret potion of beer from the kerrnul castle.

"Kэppсkй" - I go out my way to make you real. says:
lmfao

scoot. says:


scoot. says:
too mean?

"Kэppсkй" - I go out my way to make you real. says:
nope, extremely accurate I'd say

Sorry Olive I had to copy you with this. I hope you take it to heart and hate me forever for it. =]

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Write the FIRST line of the first twenty songs.
3. Strike them out when someone gets the answer right.

DON'T CHEAT BY LOOKING IT UP ON GOOGLE!

1. Come, as you are, as you were, as I want you, to be... Nirvana
2. I am the Passanger Iggy Pop
3. I saddle my horse as fast as I can Turisas
4. Fall into the century on a supersonic cross Smashing Pumpkins
5. If its not you moaning, then its someone else
6. When you and your baby are tight
7.Feeling so tired, cant understand it
8.I am so proud of my haircut.
9.Heat wave
10.I had a dream
11. Go'in tell you a story,
12.Did you hear the distant cry
13. A man lives at the corner of the street
14.The black and green scarecrow as everyone knows
15.I'm, but a little bit bit bit, show!
16.Load up on guns Nirvana
17.Here in my car Gary Numan
18.Freezin', rests his head on a pillow made of concrete, again Pearl Jam
19.Got me a movie
20.Your a fuckin' bastard. The Exploited