REMEMBER: NEVER DRINK AND DIAL
Drinking and Dialling resulting in BRAINROT....this Summers biggest
killer........ of any chance you may have with a fella!

What causes a seemingly normal easygoing girl to brainrot? The recipe
for
disaster is simple......

Take one female. Add 10 Fat Frogs and shake thoroughly on the dance
floor.
Then take one mobile phone and add 20 euro credit. When female is nicely
toasted place mobile phone in hand and sit her on a step outside a
chipper.
Give hair a backcombed look and smear lipstick down left side of face
for
presentation purposes.

Female will then proceed to brainrot any man she fancies! At first the
brainrotting may take a simple form such as ..."RU OUT 2NITE?" Usually a
response will not be forthcoming due to the late hour the brainrotting
takes
place. The male is usually:

A. In bed

B. In bed with his girlfriend

C. In bed with his boyfriend (It is not uncommon to brainrot the gay
community)

D. Inside the chipper getting himself a breast in a bun and watching you
brainrot him on the step outside
the window

The brainrotter in question will not react well to the lack of
responding
texts and will continue to text in an increasingly desparate
manner: For example:

"Hey Sinead, scored wit Brendan 2nite!" (This is a lie and is used both
to
make the male "jealous" and start a conversation)

"Ooops, sorry Eoin, that wasn't meant 4u! How ru?"

"Y r'nt u textin back?"

"Ru odd wit me?"

"I cant believe ur bein such an @sshole, I thought we were goin 2 try 2b
friends!!"

"D girls told me u were a B@st@rd but i wudnt listen!"

"I never want 2 cu again, I hope ur dog dies!"

"Well..."

"WELL...."

"Sorry, really drunk, I luv u so much"

"Did u get dat last msg? I sed I luv u!"

"Well..."

"WELL..."

"I HATE U, I HOPE U GET RUN OVER BY A BUS"

There may be a slight delay in the delivery time to the brainrottees
phone
as the texts may be so drunken they will probably have to stop off for a
bag
of chips on the way.

At this stage the brainrotter is usually in tears and shouting abuse at
random male passers-by. In her mind they are the source of all her
problems...after all they are MEN! Fortunately the brainrotter will be
too
intoxicated to form a full sentence and will be duly ignored by them!

This condition can befall any female, from the very shy to the
extroverted.
The very shy are ususally egged on by their friends who already have
boyfriends. These friends miss the thrill of single life and wish to
flirt
vicariously through the brainrotter while incurring zero damage to their
reputation/ dignity.

REMEMBER THE ONE WITH THE BOYFRIEND DOES THE DAMAGE.

If you think you may be a brainrotter, there are ways to prevent this:

A. Make sure there is no credit in your phone when you head out.

B. Give your mobile to a reliable friend to mind. This is not to prevent
loss, but to prevent other sneaky
friends from brainrotting on your behalf for the laugh.

C. Leave your mobile at home. It is best to put it in your underwear
drawer
in case you still have the urge
to brainrot when you get home. With so many bras and knickers it's
hardto
locate something in that drawer even when sober never mind while
steaming.

D. Delete the potential brainrottees number from the phone. However
thiswill not work in cases where the
number is known off by heart.

Dear Maria,

I ____ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You

should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________.

If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just

for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.

Wen i think of you, i think of _______ and _______

Wen i see a ______ i think of you.

I want you to _________ with me

Love,

_______________


P.S (_____________________)

They taste good, If you don't like them you are a tool and go try buy another one...it may be too late already though. the shop keeper may never sell you another mars bar agian and you will lie awake at night thinking about it forever...FOREVER!