Proud to be British

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub
for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian
curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish
furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......

- Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than
an ambulance.

- Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions -
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

- Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries and a DIET coke.
-Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain
the pens to the counters.

-Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds
on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
garage.

-Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen
call and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

-Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front
of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue
.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from
new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken
arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys
pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of
Control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up
into the toilet.