Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering
a package, becasue you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance
at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If
you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I
will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age
to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling
off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and
all
of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and
open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and
your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in
rder to ensure that your clothes do no, infact come off during
the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric
nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without
utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me
elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrrier, and I will kill
you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each
other, we should talk aobut sports, politics, and other issues of
the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require
from you is an indication of when you expect to have my
duaghter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from
>>you on this subject is: early."
>>
>>Rule Six:
>>
>>I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many
>>opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as
>>it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out
>>with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until
>>she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you
>>cry.
>>
>>Rule Seven:
>>
>>As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to
>>appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.
>>If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be
>>dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than
>>can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of
>>just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like
>>changing the oil in my car?
>>
>>Rule Eight:
>>
>>The following places are not appropriate for a date with my
>>daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer
>>than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. PLaces
>>where there is dancing,holding hands, or happiness. Places
>>where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my
>>duaghter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything
>>othere than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped
>>up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme
>>are to be avoided; movies which features chan saws are okay.
>>Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes
>>are better.
>>
>>Rule Nine:
>>
>>Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,
>>middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my
>>daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.
>>If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one
>>chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the
>>truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the
>>house. Do not trifle with me.
>>
>>Rule Ten:
>>
>>Be afraid,. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake
>>the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in
>>over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange stargts
>>acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the
>>guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as
>>you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both
>>hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter passwo

The captions under you picture that says
"me lookin gawjuz"
"top model pose"
"sexy"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.


two.
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.


three.
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.


four.
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.


five.
Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you have new pictures
and begging people to comment on them is pathetic.
Make the bulletin once if you have to,
and those who actually care about you
will comment on your pics.


six.
If all your pictures look the same,
don't post them all.
Please put some variety in your pics.


seven.
Who really cares if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!


eight.
Little 5th graders who have bebos
and look like sknx,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.!!!


nine.
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true bebo Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.


ten.
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
(if they have them).


eleven.
And if you open a msg and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO LIFE WHATSOEVER MAKE THAT UP THINKING THAT PEOPLE WILL FALL FOR THEIR STUPID TRAP!!! AND YOU DO!!!!




This is a test to see how many people
in your friends list
actually pay attention to you.


"like omg if u dnt repost dis in 1 second at midnte/ and if you do at midnight your true love will...SHUTUP!!! it aint gonna happen"


load a crap!!!


Copy and repost in your own bulletin as
11 rules of BEBO.

Happy New Year everyone!
this years resolution is to give up chocolate for a whole year and none of my friends think i can do it but i bet you i can last the rest of the year. i day down, 364 days to go...yes i am counting.
hope you all got plastered new years eve and can't remember a thing!
on ya!