Wow, I haven't updated my life in years on here. Crazy how myspace and other cool websites come out and ya neglect the sorta uncool sites like bebo. haha

Currently I have an amazing boyfriend who makes me very happy. I am taking a CNA course at a nursing home. That way I will have more options. I would be able to apply at the hospital and other nursing homes or even do inhome care. I am taking a break from school this coming semester that way I can save money and work on my career and build my resume. Cuz there is dumb stuff on there..like resturants..nothing of which will help me persue any medical career..lol

I am currently very bored and should be sleeping. I have so many chapters to read and homework to do tomorrow. The cna class is only three weeks. So its at a very fast pace. Today we covered 5 chapters in 2 hrs. thats a lot considering how long the chapters are..So now I need to read completly through those chapters plus read 3 more and do the homework for the 8 chapters..ugh...not so fun..it took me from 930pm-100am to read 3 chapters and do 3 homework assignments for them..maybe I am slow..??? lol I am ranting and my topics are skipping around. I am tired..Goodnight.Be good!!

This semester has already been a lot better then the previous semester. I'm finally taking a EMT-B class. It's everything I hoped it would be. I'm learning so much already. This class is a pre-req for the Fire Academy. I've heard so much about the academy I can't wait. So there's a lot I need to work on before I try getting in...Like my physical stregth is crap..and so is my endurance..It could be worst...I'm trying to get into shape..but it's really hard...My life is so busy with school and work..theres barely anytime to have a social life...But this career is tough on the physical and emotional parts of the body..so I must be ready for anything...at anytime. Therefor its inevitable..I have to get in shape..

I'm being kind of a loner again this semester...The social thing isn't really working yet..i'll write more laterssss...

Gotta goooooo

This semester..has been a life changing experince. College life isn't what it's all cracked out to be. It's tough. So much studying, trying to maintain a social life, keeping up with the family life..and working..so I can pay the bills and support myself. I can't even comphend how much money I have spent in the last 4 months. I HAD savings...but the first two months I blew it all on stupid stuff, then my car breaks down..which costed about two grand.. My Car isn't even worth that much.. But I needed it for work..and school. I was carless for about 2 or 3 weeks. Which sucked big time. Because I hate depending on other people. I had to ride my little sisters bike to school. It only took me 15-20 minutes. A person can go crazy spening that much time in silence..without a radio...when I drive ..the radio is my life saver..I refuse to drive without it.

I don't want to be one of those kids that live off their parents. My parents went threw hell trying to give me a good life and everything I ever needed..and now I am eighteen years old. I need to let them live thier life and let them start buying things " they" want. One day it'll be my turn to take care of them. I am not a little kid anymore. I'm a yound adult. At times I don't act it. I run my cell phone bill to $600..How did I manage to do that..I can't afford to pay it.. So i'm working for my parents to try to earn a little cash..See....my parents will always be willing to help.. I hate having to get there help whenever i'm stuck in a bind. It's not fair to them. So I make sure ever penny I get from them I flat out earn it. I have a lot of respect for my parents. I love them so much. without them i'd be so lost in this crazy world. They made me who I am today. Sure life wasn't all that peachy..But I learned a lot of valuable lessons. I don't care to discuss them as of right now.

This semester I f#c#d everything up. I should of prioritized better. I messed around and didn't study like I should of. Slept in so many times. I have a dream to become a EMT/Firefighter. I want to save peoples lives and put out fires. But I don't just want to give 50 percent. I want to give it a 110 percent. It's not fair to the people who fall victims to accidents. The depend on the people who are trained to save them. I know I can accomplish my dream. My life isn't perfect but it's far from bad. I haven't been appreciating the little things in my life lately. I need to suck it up and quit the bullshit and the drama.

This coming semester...needs to be completly different from last semester. I can't just wake up when I want to, or go to class when I want to..or study only when I want to. My life depends entirely on this next semester. I am taking my Emt class this next semester. If I fail one test. One fucking test..I'm out of that class. I can't afford to do that. I need to pass this class. So I can try to get into the fire academy in Tucson or Phoenix. I know I can do this. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life. My life is in my control. I haven't had control of my life since I moved out of my parents house. I need to wake up to reality and see the big picture. I am ready to take charge of my life. My thing is that I never follow threw with what I say i'm going to do. I have no choice. My future career is at stake. This small town..is a joke. I can get my schooling done here..But my future is in big cities...I can make a living down here being a freakin phone girl at this unorgainzed pizza place. I'm a poor college student. But i'm doing alright. I can't really complain about anything. I'm the one that screwed everything up for myself.