HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fks the princess.

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fks her.

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.

VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fks the princess, kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he s0d0mizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fks the princess and kills her.Then he fks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fks it for the last time.

GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the Heavy Metal protagonist.

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank' the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, he gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.

if ur a 90's kid, dis shud bring bak da memories lol

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BRITISH 90s KID IF...

YOU CAN SING THE RAP TO "THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELL AIR"

YOU'VE WORN LEGGINGS AND FELT COOL.

YOU USED TO LOVE PLAYING WITH YOUR "PUPPY IN MY POCKETS"

YOU REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY WORTH GETTING UP ON A SATURDAY MORNING TO WATCH LIVE & KICKING OR SM:TV.

YOU HAD A HUGE FRINGE AT SOME POINT IN YOUR CHILDHOOD.

YOU REMEMBER READING AND WATCHING "GOOSEBUMPS"

YOU TOOK PLASTIC CARTOON LUNCH BOXES TO SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW THE WORDS FROM THE SHAKEY JAKE MILKSHAKE ADVERTS

YOU REMEMBER THE CRAZE OF YO-YOS AND TAMAGOTCHI'S

YOU STILL GET THE URGE TO SAY "NOT" AFTER EVERY SENTENCE, NOT.

YOU KNEW THAT KIMBERLY, THE PINK RANGER, AND TOMMY, THE GREEN RANGER WERE MEANT TO BE.

YOU COLLECTED POKEMON CARDS.

YOU PLAYED AND/OR COLLECTED POGS.

YOU HAD A WEIRD ALIEN THAT LIVED IN GOOEY STUFF IN A PLASTIC 'POD' AND THOUGHT IF YOU STUCK 2 BACK TO BACK THEY WOULD HAVE A BABY!

YOU WATCHED THE ORIGINAL POSTMAN PAT, FIREMAN SAM AND NINJA TURTLES.

YIKES PENCILS WERE THE BEST! - WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?

YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE NEW BEANIE BABIES WERE ALWAYS SOLD OUT

YOU GOT YOUR MUM TO BUY 'BN' BISCUITS

YOU USED TO WEAR THOSE STICK ON EARRINGS, NOT ONLY ON YOUR EARS BUT AT THE CORNERS OF YOUR EYES.

YOU KNOW THE MACERENA BY HEART.

"TALK TO THE HAND" ENOUGH SAID.

YOU REMEMBER THE TIME BEFORE LITERACY AND NUMERACY HOUR EXISTED.

YOU THOUGHT BRAIN FROM "PINKEY AND THE BRAIN" WOULD FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

YOU REMEMBER BUM BAGS.

YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON FUN HOUSE

YOU COLLECTED TAZOS.

2 WORDS,
SPICE GIRLS

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