a man walks into a bar

OUCH
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a scotish man a english man and an irish man walked into a bar-
in the middle of the room was a slide

the men askes the barman y-

well, he sed- watever u say as u go down u will land in a pot of.

the english men went down and sed diamonds and gold and landed in a pot of diamonds and gold

the scotishman sed gold and silver and landed in a pot of gold and silver

BUT the irish man triped on the last step



!!SHIT!! HE SED



AND U CAN GUESS THE REST. LOL
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A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.

After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.
After a few more he needs to go to the can.
He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying,

"I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

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There were these two guys in a bar,
which was on the 20th floor of a building.
The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!"
The second man says "Ok, sure."
and the barman holds the bet.
The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in.
Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again."
So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in.
Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in."
The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below.
He is dead.
Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."

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