Ok, the trick here is to write something that can pull people into reading more of the blog and making yourself either sound interesting or smart.

I’m neither, in reality I just want to write a recent blog. Mostly because the one before this {And the other one} is depressing.

If I could say one thing,

Imagine yourself in the rain. Up above you is nothing but sky, and leaves that are scattered and blowing in the wind.
It’s warm, and the cold rain is refreshing. Making you alive again, making your eyes close and head turn towards it without realising.

In your ears, music is playing. A secret sanctuary, you hide behind your eyes and imagine lines of all colours moving in time with the song. They change colours to form a rainbow and twist and turn in their symmetrical paterns.

What can you imagine yourself being? Happy? Calm? Tense?


Kara walked through the streets, trying to reach somewhere dry before her shoes started squeaking. She’d already given up trying to keep her feet dry a while ago when she left her house and saw the massive puddle at the end of her driveway. It was raining so hard she had trouble working out where she was going, because of this she managed to step into another puddle by accident and sighed.
“Another one.” She muttered, watching the ripples on the surface as the rain hit. She got bored after a few seconds and kicked the surface of the puddle, listening to the words singing in her ears she found herself smiling at the puddle and walking to the next one a little further along.

When she reached it she stopped a step in front of it, listening to the lyrics in her ears, she laughed and looked up to the sky so suddenly she made the hood of her jumper fall down revealing her long blonde hair that was tied neatly in a ponytail.

“I just want to scream and lose control,
Throw my hands up and let it go,
Forget about everything and runaway yeah,
I just want to fall and lose myself,
Laugh so hard it hurts like hell,
Forget about everything and runaway yeah.”

She threw her hands up and spun around in circles as the words sung the melody into her ears, she felt the headphones fall but didn’t bother putting them back into her ears just yet. Instead she concentrated on feeling the coldness of the rain hit her face and hands as she spun faster and faster in circles. She stopped spinning when she became dizzy and finally stopped, breathing deeply from the sudden outlet of energy.
She could feel her eyelashes stick together with the drops of rain splashing on her face and smiled, Kara loved the loved rain because it hid the tears she had been crying just a few moments before. However it didn’t take the empty feeling she felt everyday, the numbness was spreading now to her heart so quickly she couldn’t understand how.

Extract taken from ‘Forgotten Screamer’ © Phoenix08.

‘It’s not to easy living on the streets of London, gang crimes and knife fights and things people don’t want to see. In our towns or cities such as a soup kitchen handing out food and clothes to the homeless also toothpaste and face cloths were some places are open and want to change as some respect is held high. As others waste it away on drugs and begging the sluts would say get a job, so I went down the road to the doll office to make my claim and found that when it hit me London isn’t made of gold. It’s like a dog fight, defend yourself or be eaten alive.
So I went on my own way making me own shelter away from the other scraggy wags sleeping in some hospitals, from some kind of poison if you don’t eat right.’

<3 ---x--- <3

That message was written by my uncle, now deceased he lives all around me and the rest of the people that knew him. He was a rogue, tell him to do something and he did the opposite but he had the biggest heart that anyone could imagine.
He’d talk to complete strangers, and has apparently ridden from London to Portsmouth and ‘thought nothing of it’.
He was tall, and gave the biggest bear hugs that could squeeze the breath out of you, but he hid how ill he really was.
No one really knew until it was too late, and then it came down on us like a ton of bricks because he was loved and not many of my family got around to making him feel it.
[ ‘Spitfiiiire’ is his user name for his chat room account, and now is a part of my user name…]

It wasn’t easy seeing his coffin taken into the crematorium, especially knowing that this would be the last time I’d ever see the coffin let alone imagine him laying inside it.
That day I couldn’t stop myself crying, we didn’t get a chance to see him before, maybe it was easier that way…we got to remember his smiling face instead of him dead in a coffin…it still didn’t take away the pain though.

I had to say goodbye, I had to make it real so that I could feel the pain my mum was feeling and comfort her…she kept telling me ‘Thank you for coming’ but I would have come anyway… I felt I had to.
I was leaning into mum, tears were blinding my eyes and making my eye lashes stick together but it didn’t matter. I had to say goodbye, it hurt to watch him in front of us, but in the end I didn’t want my mum to go alone and knew that I had to go.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, the next second he was no longer on the table. At first I thought it was a magic trick or something, then reality hit. He was underneath the table, being burnt at an incredibly high temperature to make the ashes that are now laying beside my grandmother from my mum’s side.

He’ll never be forgotten…

R.I.P Nigel
Love you

xxxxxxxxx

Who said I had to write a random blog saying nothing interesting? Ok, the blog below wasn’t interesting, but I had to write it to get certain things straight.

It’s time you knew more about me…
However, I wont give personal information about me away. HAHA!

Loves

In the morning

1.Not waking up early
2.Texts from someone… -trails off-

in the afternoon

1.listening to music,
2.drawing

in the evening

1.talking on msn.. to friends and him …
2.writing

Whenever

Watching ‘The Guardian’ [movie]
Escaping to *Glimmer*
Being with friends
Being home alone
Wearing stud belts
Going hyper on Ribena or Apple tango
Talking to him…

[I’m easy going, but annoy me and the mean side shows. It ISNT pretty.]

Hates

Mention my phobia and I’ll go nuts..
bullies
judgemental people


In between

<I loves…>
being able to paint on my arm for no reason, it’s the creative look I tell you!
being alone to think about random things and then drinking ribena… then talking to my friends and letting them figure out I’m actually hyper
picking up a pencil and paper and not knowing what will appear until I finish drawing.
Not knowing how long I’ll close my eyes before I go to sleep
Lying in his arms and forgetting everything. Only thinking of him and me.
Waking up and realising I can have lie in
Watching Heroes non-stop and realising that its hours since I started
Going into our back garden with my mp3 player, pen, paper and sitting down. Writing anything that comes into my head.
Going to the place we used to walk our dogs, sitting on a bench and texting him. [whilst drawing or writing.]
Having my hair down and hiding behind it
Getting new CD’s
Being hyper [it’s funny watching me… as people WILL tell you]
Wearing my stary things
Having stary things



<I hates…>
Being stuck in the middle of conversations
Being forced to speak out, go offline or anything that makes me rush what I’m doing.
Realising half way through drawing I’ve made a massive error
Running out of credit
Not being hyper
Remembering when things used to be so easy
Remembering when I got laughed at for just being alive. For no reason whatsoever.
Taking my armwarmers off [no, I don’t hide scars. I hide a bare patch on it ]





[to.be.continued. ]