A UCD, a DIT and a Trinity student were in an airplane that crashed, They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.

God addresses the UCD student first: "What do you believe
in?" The UCD Student replies,"Well, I believe in power to the little people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."

God then addresses the DIT student: "What do you believe
in?"
The DIT student replies, "Well, I believe that the
combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die....Waaahhh." God thinks for a second and says: "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."

God then addresses the Trinity student: "What do you believe in?".
And he replies: "I believe you are in my chair."



Q. Why don't they have Christmas at DCU?
A. They can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the UCD campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Q. What's the first thing a BESS bird does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
A. With a restraining order.

Q. What does a Trnity student call a UCD student after graduation?
A. Boss.

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Carlow?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Q. Did you hear that the library in WIT burned down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the books weren't coloured-in yet.

Q. Why do UCD graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. How do you get a WIT graduate off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What do tornadoes and Arts graduates have in common?
A. They both end up in trailer parks.

Q. How many Athlone IT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None - Westmeath looks better in the dark.

Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two - One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any UCD student.

Q. How many NUI Maynooth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three - One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead WIT student in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. If you see a DIT student on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q What do you have when 100 Arts students are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What do Science students use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a UCD student. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the UCD student...twice.

Q: What do u call a LIT student in a suit?
A: The Defendant

Q:What do u call a UL graduate in a suit?
A: The LIT student's lawyer

"Some people create with words or with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race, it's a style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative."

"A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more. Nobody is going to win a 5,000 meter race after running an easy 2 miles. Not with me. If I lose forcing the pace all the way, well, at least I can live with myself."

"Somebody may beat me, but they are going to have to bleed to do it."

"Something inside of me just said 'Hey, wait a minute, I want to beat him,' and I just took off."

"What I want is to be number one."

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift."

"The only pace is suicide pace, and every day is a good day to die."

"A race is a work of art that people can look at and be affected in as many ways they're capable of understanding."

"You have to wonder at times what you're doing out there. Over the years, I've given myself a thousand reasons to keep running, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement."