There are approximately two billion children (humans under 1 in the world. However, since Mr Clause is not known to visit children who follows the religions known as Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (Source: Jedi Chef people counting Dept.)

Using advanced mathematical formalae which would make your human brains come out your eye sockets we have determined that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least 1 small human who has been considered to be good during the past revolution around your star.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Conclusion: if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

http://www.dailymotion.com/tag/man/v...

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

Here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie

i love cheese



Opening Credits: Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independant *hell yeah i am*

Waking Up: The Dandy Warholes - Bohemian Like You *luv it!*

First Day At School: Dirty Dancing Soundtrack - Hungry Eyes

Falling In Love: Wham! - Im Your Man!!! hahaha call me good, call me bad

Fight Song: Matchbook Romance - Monsters

Breaking Up: The Bravery - Honest Mistake *HAHA no wonder we broke up!*

Prom: The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger

Life's Ok: Eminem - When Im Gone

Mental Breakdown: The Kinks - My Sharonna! dedicated to Dawson

Driving: Madness - It Must Be Love...

Flashback: Tim McGraw - Just to see you Smile

Getting Back Together: B*Witched - Cest La Vie *haha cheese!*

Birth of Child: Lifehouse - Breathing! aww i luv this song!

Wedding: The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love! well i better if im gettin married! haha

Final Battle: Its Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas! aww i nice final battle

Death Scene: U2 - Still Havent Found What Im Looking For *ohwel, its too late now*

Funeral Song: Will Smith - Wild Wild West *haha thats random!*

End Credits: The Lion King - I Just Cant Wait To Be King!! i cant!! Lol