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- Me, Myself, and I
- dats me n d loml
Wot can i say dat u dn't already "tink u kno"
Nd its true some of da hardest tings u av 2 do r 4 da best!
K after al my shit bout going steady lmfao
Christy ne1 dat knos him wud kno es a pure wingnut, es pure klass lik!
Miss im lik mad wen es workin dwn south nt da same wen i av al da blankets 2 mysel, drives me crazi always torturin me n e as da cheek 2 call me a bully lol ur lucky i luv u, ya wee fuck xoxo
- Umm music wise i'm easy
- Ok anything dat u can shake ur ass to, is always acceptable nd da stuff dat u can't dance to is still pretty much as good! tiesto, shakira, nelly, timbaland, linkin park, kaiser chiefs, justin timberlake, editors, hard-fi, verve, Reverend & the makers, kelly clarkson, paramore, sugababes, gym class heroes, kanye west, plain white t's, fall out boy !
- cartoons rock im a big kid at heart. neting except war movies oh or if an animal dies i cannot watch, every ting else il giv a chance
- horse riding, luv it again, shud nevr hav stoppd
- Scared Of
- becoming a mum havin sum1 need me so much is the most frightenin ting 2 ever happen
- Happiest When
- Hittin da pub/club wit my gurls or all dem quiet nites n wit a takeaway, dvds, drink n my best mates, havin our wee girly sessions means da world 2 me
- my wee bitches
- My wee dogs, bonnie and kia. They hav the combined knowledge of a goldfish, but i love them anyway! glad i have me wee mutts!
- d man
- u nvr dat lucky 2 find sum1 who knos u beta dn u kno urself and still luv ya without falter
christy ya wee shit ya kno ya can count on me 2 b der wen u need me, coz uv done it ovr n ovr 4 me
i love ya so much ya wee shit i can't c mysel havin half d laf, i hav wen im wit u; wit any1 else (except 4 my girlies)
- The Other Half Of Me
D reason i smile is al bcoz of U Kerr. Love u xox
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Chase & Status - End Credits ft Plan B (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO) HQ
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ricky as been der since da days of da high wen im n jon used 2 prank call me n call me names lik ginja, genger, short ass, smurfette, flamin hot dey av nevr left me still follow me around lik a sad ex n all those horse ridin jokes got a lil sick.
Jon u big man whore n u wer so innocent at school tut tut im so ashamed (lol if u don't get caught no 1 needs 2 kno)
tanya another of da oldies a bently bopper back wen weren't da oldest i luv ya
leanne my best mate since we were both da height of 2 turf at least dat changed 4 1 of us, u'l make a hell of a nurse jus don't tink im gonna evr let u near me wit a needle!
Maire u wee wingnut, a fellow fiesty red head n da only sober 1 among us (poor u) i luv ya coz ur ma buck buddy n u make me smile wen i nevr fink i can
Fiona n nicola r my mentors der teachin me how 2 b a bitch lol der r ppl readin dis tink i already am 1 but u's dat luv me kno i am NO BITCH, we are BIATCHS!!!!
Fiona although we av 2 share u wit PRESTON u kno we luv u more, another fiesty 1 n i luv her 2 pieces.
i miss u huni wen u not here but we sure as hell make up 4 it wen ur home lmao same goes 4 Christy, barely c u lol but wen we do; well u kno wot im on about !
I luv u bitches
Da boys frm da KNOCK although i nvr c u's i totally understand after all he has no mates except u's!!! RYAN ALFIE DAVID mutha fuckin gangstas luv ya mwah xxxxxxxx
0 Comments 287 weeks
Why its great 2 b a man
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Foreplay is optional.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- The world is your urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
- Same work... more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
- One mood, all the time.
A Woman's Prayer:
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed
A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied - a redhead
let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.
How does a redhead change a light bulb? She doesn't, she bitches until someone else does.
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old redhead. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"
"NO, i'm cryin coz i can't remember where i live" sobbed the old man
Two sailors on shore leave, walking down the street. They spot a beautiful blonde. First sailor asks his friend "Have you ever slept with a blonde?" Second sailor replies that he has. They walk on further and see an even more beautiful brunette. FS" Have you ever slept with a brunette?" SS" Why yes, in fact I've slept with brunettes on many occasions" They walk on a little further, and see a gorgeous redhead, who leaves the other two girls for dead. FS" Have you ever slept with a redhead then?" His companion looks at him and replies "Not a wink!
Q: What's the advantage of a blonde vs. a redhead?
A: At least you can ignore the blonde safely
Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a lawyer?
A: There are somethings that even lawyers won't do to people.
man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive my car there?"
The genie laughed , "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever
1 Comment 288 weeks
U kno wen ur drunk wen ..........
1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some reason, that's ok.
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too.
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we started out as just 4 hours ago.
5. We drop our 3am submarine sandwich/pizza slice/poutine on the floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its nobody's business.
6.We start crying and declare to everyone we see, including people we barely know, that we love them SOOOO MUCH.
7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song comes on because "OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!"
8. We're suddenly full of profound spiritual wisdom... and so is the geek next to us.
9. We don't see anything wrong with making out with profs/co-workers/boss should they be around
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, get up on the table or bar and start to sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to us.
11. Our eyes just won't seem to stay open by themselves, so we keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.
12. We've suddenly taken up smoking and we believe we're really good at it
13. We yell at the bartender who we believe has cheated us bygiving us just orange juice, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.
14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the floor.. or like the mop.
15. We start every conversation with a slurred "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before we sit on it.
17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. We are tired, but we are troopers so instead of going home, we just sit on the floor wherever we are standing and take a quick nap.
19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly jeans to cut down on the time we're in the bathroom away from our drink.
20. We take our shoes off because a) they're ridiculously impractical.. but soo beautiful! b) We believe it's the shoes' fault that we can't walk straight.
21. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter who said what or who went home with whoever else - we ALWAYS call each other the next day
0 Comments 289 weeks
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