Mr Martin Campbell
This dude is first on here for a reason, he's put up with me the longest, 15 long years i've known him, and 15 years of good times. we knew each other in primary, weren't best mates then, as he hung round with leon, and i was with Tiwa, but when he left for London we became mates, our little group, Me, him, matty fowell or however you spell it - aka boff 92, jason & ben, all together through primary, mad things happened, specially on break times, secondary school started - we went same school thank god, Harper Green, were the second journey began, the days were martin still lived on Flower Estate, when it thundered everytime i went his, going on dell through the tunnels knee deep in water (till uu missed the rocks under it and went under lol), fuck nows why we did it, ohhh yeah looking for newts lol!, like on cobden mill :\, took Martin fishing on crommie lodges, on the stock pond (illegally) and he fell asleep against a tree, it snapped and he fell in, he only woke up when he was sat in the water haha, when me and martin first started secondary, he did spanish i did french, but for 10 mins, we was in same form, and i was stuck with mr lee seddon.... lol! that school, no matter how shit school is, is where i met some of the best people going, but more on them later, as we were in different forms, different classes, we didn't see other as much apart from after school so it was still all good but year 9 came, we mixed our mates together, (and i think the spanish lot were better tbh) but i was back with the bezzie and we decided go manor one day, me martin ben nathan (nefen) big chris anton lee. on the way we found a half broken golf club, so we decided take it with us, and me n lee had fell out time back, and cos he was bein a dick per usual, a hit him at the bottom of the big big big big big bridge that crosses the motorway over to the farms anyway bout 300 across it martin tells me that lee's comin, so we all turn round, and lee's sprintin across the bridge straight at me, any way he tried to flying kick me, i stepped to side grabbed his leg and hit im again, he anton and jason walked off into woods, leaving me martin ben n big chris and a golf club, anyway, ben had the golf club in his hand and he decided to rugby tackle chris, anyway, we all decided to pile on, then we heard ben sayin shit shit get off, and way we all got off, and ben pulled the golf club outta his face, anyways chris was pale as paper and was not moving, we just stood round him like wtf!? we killed im, anyway this flap of skin on his face lifted up and blood poured out, any chris came round and was like wat appned? he had no idea he was bleedin he was in that much shock lol, anyway he got a scar for life now mwhahahaha! (made him look better), martin has seen my mom twat my dad with a cup once, haha that was funny. we fall out like we do, mainly cos im a dick, i get it off me parents, but ye martin knows i won't hit him, hes been me m8 to long, i av a short fuse which dont help, and i take things very seriously, but ye we get through it all, cos martin knows im actually alright even if i do never shut up haha. he was there for me when i blacked out in middle of bolton, his parents were on holiday, and we'd been drinkin raqi (turkish national drink) and martin told me calm down lol, cos i was drinkin loads, andway that + barely no sleep + wearing a coat in a boiling shop meant i was gunna blackout = we went leve shop and everything went black bar in the middle, i tried to follow but it faded and it was all black, so i was like shit, so i turned to a shelf to pretend iwas alright n martin went wat uu lookin at? and i said, i cant see!! and then apparantly i tilted forward as if i was fallin, straight towards sheld, so he grabbed me, i span round in his grip and fell backwards into the shelf :\all i can remmeber is when i was blacked out, i cud feel me hitting things no pain though, it felt as if i was being stretched into an a

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the fucking toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their fat arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. Martin, you gave me this idea.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a fucking choice there, did you dickhead?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what the fuck did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really shit - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks cockmunch, that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McFucking Tosser

whats your hair color at the moment?
black

is that your natural hair colour?
nope

Where was your default pic taken?
mates bedroom

What's your middle name?
james

Your current relationship status?
taken by the most amazin girl ever!!! samy pegg <3 xxxxxx

Honestly, does your crush like you back?
i dont know lol

What is your current mood?
tired (been on phone till 3)

What colour underwear are you wearing?
black

Are you musically inclined?
whats that mean?

If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?
nothing really i like my life atm

If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?
a tiger shark

Ever had a near death experience?
lol loads =)

Something you do a lot?
say what?

What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
coin operated boy :\ heard it on someone elses profile

When was the last time you cried?
years ago. im an unemotional twat

Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
yep school play

If you could have one super power what would it be?
never die or age with rejuvanating powers.

What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
eyes or bum

What's your biggest secret?
there is a reason its called a secret

What's your favorite color?
blue, black, white, green (yellow withdark blue)

When was the last time you lied?
this mornin. i said my breakfast tasted good.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
no

Do you have braces?
no

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
ummm......b born naturally tanned so i dnt av keep sunbathing

What are you eating or drinking atm?
nuthin

Do you speak any other languages?
only with a translator off google =)