So lost in your eyes
blue and wide like a thousand oceans
immersed and wading in your love
I feel my body, mind and soul submerge
it fills my lungs and I'm starting to drown

Lead by passion
Our hearts tangle and I lose control
So blind
So weak
So vulnerable

I can fight, struggle and plead
Resist this ever growing force
But it fills my lungs and I'm starting to drown

There's nothing left to do but let myself go
close my eyes and close my mind
It fills my lungs and I'm starting to drown
I'm starting to drown and I don't mind.

In one life time we are forced to make thousands of decisions. Each decision makes us who we are. Each decision determines where we will end.

Where we lived, there was peace like no man could imagine. We knew neither sorrow nor pain. Ruled by one man: Our king, our father, our friend; the place we called home was the epitome of perfection. Our bodies and hearts had been exposed to nothing but the most pure of love.

Our minds, on the other hand, belonged to us and for some that proved a gift too great. Each thought, so pure, was sometimes partially clouded by a mere moment of mindless coveting. Just one second of desire to sit in the throne of our father and feel what he feels. Rule as he rules.

“Why not one of us?” the whisper echoed through my ears and I saw something different in my dear friend’s eyes. “Did any one of us raise our hand in vote? Did we appoint him to that mighty throne?” Whispering was heard throughout the land, bickering and arguing in the dullest of tones.

Our king heard the whispers and stormed to the crowd, silence fell upon us and we each met his stare…all but one of us.
“From where did these whispers derive? Which of you wants a thrown and power of his land?”

We looked to my friend, who had roused such discussion and he remained staring to the ground.
“I want such things,” He said, still avoiding the kings glare, “and from what I have heard today, your people want a choice.”
The king was seemingly calm and stood a second before he spoke. “Is this true? Do my people wish to elect their own king?”

We looked around and met the guilt in each others’ eyes. Some moved immediately to the King’s side and some stood defiantly behind our friend who had raised the issue. The rest of us didn’t move, unsure of what to do.
He stepped forward and delivered his message to us in the clearest of words, his thunderous voice filled the ear of everyone that stood before him.
“You who remain shall have your choice; you may choose your king. I shall send you away from here and you will remember nothing of me. You will be taught in my ways and you will understand the consequences of your decisions.” He paused a minute and took a deep breath. “ And you,” He looked to my dear friend, who was still looking to his feet with his fists clenched and his jaw closed tightly in rage “Your thoughts have corrupted your heart and you have repaid me for all I have done with disloyalty and treachery. You shall have your throne and you shall rule your land but do not for one second believe it will fill the empty space where once beat your heart. Take your followers with you.”

At that, the king screamed loudly and with one blow he put his fist through the floor of his kingdom. We all stood in awe, staring, as he walked to my friend and picked him up with one hand. With a powerful throw, he cast my friend deep into the hole then violently pushed those who stood defiantly after him. He turned to us a second later and only then could we see his pain as tears welled in his eyes.
“Go. Make your choice.” He said, falling to his knees.

I woke completely unaware. I had been given life, cast away from my home with not so much as a memory. Years passed and I was given an identity; I was given a name and a family to which I belonged. Those who called themselves my mother and father taught me in the ways of a great king; one who I could not see, nor talk to, whose existence was constantly questioned by the people around me. “He exists,” My parents insisted “And you will be judged. He has given us rules to follow and if you accept him as your king you will be invited into his great kingdom when your life has ended.”
‘Faith’ They had called it; putting my life, heart, mind and body into something that I constantly doubted even existed. Every day I faced decisions, ones my family had been set on warning me about. The

I had always cradled myself in the darkness, feeling safe in what was familiar; the four solid walls surrounding me. Never once had I ventured past my boundaries and very little had I dreamt to do so. Being sheltered, oblivious to what lay further than my limits, kept me content. I had found my place in this world, happily bound by all that I knew.

Then there was you.

You saw me as I was; a blank slate. As close a form of pure as you could find. I didn’t see you coming, and when I did it was too late. An unstoppable force; you broke through my walls and burrowed your way into my mind. You were woven into my every dream, every thought, every feeling.

You refused to believe in anything pure. There couldn’t exist a being whose true intentions weren’t of wicked nature. So you dug deep. You tore at me and pried open what you could. You sunk your claws into my heart and found exactly what you were looking for.
There I was, standing before you with every inch of me that was ever concealed; open to your eyes. I tried to hide in shame, but it was far too late for that. For the first time, we were both able to see me for who I really was.

Filled with disgust by my own existence, I tried to stuff it all back inside. You watched in awe as I attempted to pick myself up from the ground and fill the holes you had dug. I felt pathetic and weak. Alone. I had to give up. You had revealed me for who I was and there was no disguising the faults that lay before us like an open book.

Now, here you lie

Pathetic and weak. Alone. Examining the carpet’s topography with your face flat down on it, my name is heard in between sobs. Every whimper makes me angrier. How pitiful. I once nurtured my flaws into something great; something solid and powerful. The once ‘almighty you’ now lay beneath the souls of my feet, dreaming of a life once had. Wishing that you had accepted something to be pure of heart. Wishing you could undo what you have created.