1. When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while,let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream,"That's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura.

17. Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.screw lia

1. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

2. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?

5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

12. What do people in China call their good plates?

13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

17. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

11 Rules of Bebo

1
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose"
"sexy bitch"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.


2
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.


3
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.


3
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.


5
Making 20 blogs a day
about how you have new pictures
and begging people to comment on them is pathetic.
Make the blog once if you have to,
and those who actually care about you
will comment on your pics.


6
If all your pictures look the same,
don't post them all.
Please put some variety in your pics.
Nobody wants to see your face
8 different ways.


7
Who really cares if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!

8
Little 3rd formers who have bebos
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here!!!


9
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true bebo Friend.
Real friends read their blogs.


10
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
(if they have them).


11
And if you open a msg and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or Harry potter will butt fuck you tonight or even worse HAGRID!,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO LIFE WHATSOEVER MAKE THAT SHIT UP THINKING THAT PEOPLE WILL FALL FOR THEIR STUPID TRAP!!! AND YOU DO!!!!

"Like omg if u repost this by midnight your true love will..."SHUTUP U FUCKIN ASSHOLES!!! shit aint gonna happen to you or for that matter, ME!
It's just a load of shit!!



Thankyou.. and stop sending me fuckin Bebo mail!!