100 beaches make me itchy,
As the sand leave a reminder down my craaak
1000 scratches have made it worse now,
And the sand just wont fucking go away.

After the cheeks are separated,
The sand disappears now but it leaves a scar that I can’t face.

I’m here without trunks baby
But I’m still on this sandy beach
It’s diarrhoea baby,
And the Pepto-Bismol won’t put me at ease.

I’m here without trunks baby
But I’m still on this sandy beach
And it’s shite,
cause it runs when I do a pee.
{Yeah}{oooohhh ooohhh}

My Bowels just keep rolling,
But it’s runny and not solid as you know.
I’ve heard this beach gets 5-star rating,
But I just can’t get the sand out of my hole
{Oh yeah}

I’m here without trunks baby
But I’m still on this sandy beach
It’s diarrhoea baby,
And the Pepto-Bismol won’t put me at ease.

I’m here without trunks baby
But I’m still on this sandy beach
And it’s shite,
cause it runs when I do a pee.

Every grain {oh}
Makes me grow {ow}{Every grain makes me groan baby}
Bathing’s hard but I can’t stop the thing I love
And when the last grain falls,
And when it’s banished and dust,
I’m deserving of this pain-free-arse.
{woah, woah, woah, oooohh, ooohh yeah}

I’m here without trunks baby
But I’m still on this sandy beach
It’s diarrhoea baby,
And the Pepto-Bismol won’t put me at ease.

I’m here without trunks baby
But I’m still on this sandy beach
And you ask why?,
Cause shorts cost twenty, seventeen.
{Fuck that} {Rip off!!!} {Fuck that}
{Yeah, oohh yeah, yeah, oohh yeah, ooooohhhhooohhhh}

As the song titles suggest, all our songs are based on true stories and/or personal experiences.
You can find our albums in all low budget record stores, reasonably priced at £23.99... our album sales make us the great band we are today, thank you! x

July 24th - 2006
Well what a gig that was! Definetely one of our more successful performances; Although Calum had to go in early, I was ever-so-slightly mashed from his big bottle of smirnoff and many blue wkds, and Dan was off in the bushes helping 3 girls ahem 'find their bikinis', gentleman that he is!
Good food though, hail to the chef that night!