A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention the condition to your wishes Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will
be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine" So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
























The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show


PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

"It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still."

"I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise."

"Bill Bailey would like the eggs of numbing inevitability"

"I am Zebedee, Lord of the woods!"

"I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk The Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said was 'Dad, you're right, but let's give Krull a try.'"

"It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. It's a cautionary tale: in large doses, it can cause genocide."

"Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it."

"This shed does not contain me."

"Il voyage dans le Tardis, le boite de telephone. Fantastique! L'interior est plus grande que l'exterior/ Avec les Daleks, le Docteur est superior." (From Dr Qui?)

"Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish."

"There's more evil in the charts than in an Al-Qaeda suggestion box."

"I'm a postmodern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically."

"Three blokes go into a pub. Well, I say three; could have been four or five. Could have been nine or ten, doesn't matter. Could have been fifteen, twenty - fifty. Round it up. Hundred. Let's go mad, eh - two-fifty. Tell you what, double it up - five hundred. Thousand! Oh, I've gone mad! Two thousand! Five thousand! (adopting auctioneer persona) anyone five thousand, six thou, six thousand, ten thousand! Small town in Hertfordshire goes into a pub! Fifteen thousand blokes! Alright, let's go - population of Rotterdam. The Hague. Whole of Northern Holland. Mainland U.K. Let's go all the way to the top - Europe, alright? Whole of Europe goes - I say Europe. Could be Eurasia. Not the band, obviously, that's just two of them. Alright, continents - North America! Plus South America! Plus Antartica - that's just eight blokes in a weather station. Not a good example. Alright, make it a lot simpler, all the blokes on the planet go into the pub, right? And the first bloke goes up to the bar and he says "I'll get these in."

What an idiot."
"I've got a small decorative concrete pig."

"A feminist jumps out of a manhole - oh, and she didn't like that." -
Bewilderness
"Which leads me very nicely to the Taliban; were they really that backward, or were they the finest minds of the fourteenth century?"

[On the increased 'whiny, self-pitying' sound of American rock]
You pick me up from school
Attended all my sporting functions
Bought me a car
Gave me use of a credit card
But how can I feel pain?
How can I feel pain?
How can I feel pain
When you're being so supportive.
"Im Aled Jones, its all gone wrong for me."

"But our country's equivilant of gritty reality is more like 'Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!'"

"Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative."

"Who photographs kebabs?"