Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a w@nker.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your clothes.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember).

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

Fuck...
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many Grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb both transitive (John fucked Mary)
and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary
really doesn't give a fuck), and adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy; fuck, she's also stupid). As you can see there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word fuck.
Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:

Greetings........."How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud............."I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation......."Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble..........."I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Agression........."FUCK YOU!"
6. Disgust..........."Fuck sake."
7. Confusion........."What the fuck...?"
8. Displeasure......."Fucking shit man..."
9. Lost.............."Where the fuck are we?"
10.Disbelief........."UNFUCKINGBEL
IEVABLE!!"
11. Retaliation......."Up your fucking ass!"
12. Apathy............"Who really gives a fuck?"
13. Suspicion........."Who the fuck are you?"
14. Directions........"Fuck off."
15. It can be maternal........"MOTHERFUCKER!!"
16. It can be used to tell time......."It's four fucking twenty!"
17. It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's a fucking asshole."

Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the fuck was that?" ~Mayor of Hiroshima~
"Thats not a real fucking gun." ~John Lennon~
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" ~Captain of the Titanic~
"Who the fuck is gonna find out?" ~Richard Nixon~
"Any fucking idiot could answer that." ~Albert Einstein~
"It does so fucking look like her!" ~Picasso~
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?"´~Michaelangelo~
"Fuck a duck." ~Walt Disney~
"Houston, we have a big fucking problem." ~The crew of Apollo 13

Hey guys, well its been a year since my 19th! wow that went fast, but what a fuking mint ride its been hahahahahaha so many fun times. Well anywayz i think a paaarrrtaaay may be in order??! and if you went to my party last year im sure you will want to kum to this one!!! Im just in the planning stage rite now, but im sure its going to be one hell of a nite. C yaz there.