Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab


So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best




I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs


I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get


No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And fetch another beer.

>
> At last, a yardstick by which you can measure your Australian-ness ".
>
> It's also for those of you who haven't met an Australian and are not
>sure what one is REALLY like!
>
> You're not Australian 'til...
>
> 1) You've mimicked Alf Stewart from the TV show "Home and Away's"
>broad, Australian accent, e.g.. Push off, ya flamin' drongo!"
>
> 2) You've had an argument with your mate over whether Ford or Holden
>makes the better car!
>
> 3) You've done the "hot sand" dance at the beach while running from the
>ocean back to your towel.
>
> 4) You know who Ray Martin is.
>
> 5) You start using words like "reckon" and "root" and call people
>"mate".
>
> 6) You stop greeting people with "hello" and go straight to the "'ow ya
>doin'?" or "'ow ya goin'?"
>
> 7) You've seriously considered running down to the shop in a pair of
>Ugg Boots
>
> You own a pair of ugg boots.
>
> 9) You've actually run down to the shop in a pair of ugg boots.
>
> 10) You've been to a day-night cricket match and screamed out
>incomprehensibly until your throat went raw.
>
> 11) You kind of know the first verse to the national anthem, but don't
>know what "girt" means.
>
> 12) You have a story that somehow revolves around excess consumption of
>alcohol and a mate named "Dave".
>
> 13) You've risked attending an outdoor music festival on the hottest
>day of the year.
>
> 14) You've tried to hang off a clothesline while pretending you can
>fly.
>
> 15) You've had a visit to the emergency room after hanging off the
>clothesline pretending you can fly.
>
> 16) You own a pair of thongs for everyday use, and another pair of
>"dress thongs" for special occasions. (Thongs are a form of footwear!!
>
> 17) You don't know what's in a meat pie, and you don't care.
>
> 1 You pronounce Australia as "Stralya"
>
> 19) You call soccer, soccer, not football!
>
> 20) You've squeezed Vegemite through vita wheat to make little Vegemite
>worms.
>
> 21) You suck your coffee through a Tim Tam.
>
> 22) You realise that surf life savers are the only people who can get
>away with wearing Speedos.
>
> 23) You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite or Marmite.
>
> 24) You understand the value of public holidays and know exactly when
>they fall? Even if you don't know what they're for.
>
> 25) Your weekends are spent barracking for your favourite sports team.
>
> 26) You have a toilet dolly.
>
> 27) Your Mum or Nan made it.
>
> 2 You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and a bat fashioned
>out of a fence post.
>
> 29) You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be OK, and have
>told a mate in tough times that "She'll be right, mate."
>
> 30) You use the phrase, "no worries" at least once a day.
>
> 31) You've been on a beach holiday and have probably stayed in a
>caravan.
>
> 32) You constantly shorten words to "brekkie", "arvo" and "barbie"
>
> 33) You've adopted a local bar as your own.
>
> 34) You know the oath of mateship can never be limited by geographical
>distance.
>
> 35) You measure a journey in beer, not kilometres or time. (e.g..
>Catchin' the train from Sydney to Parra?? That's a 3 beer trip mate).
>
> 36) You navigate using pubs/clubs and servos as landmarks
>