Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.

Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

When Jack Bauer is asleep, time stops.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Jack doesn't get morning wood. He gets morning steel. Stainless steel.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Drive-Thru's are open for 24 hours because if Jack Bauer wants a chalupa, goddamnit Jack Bauer gets a chalupa.

Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.

When Jack Bauer asks for your help, he's not asking.

Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.

Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using niether rock, paper nor scissors.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack

As we grow up we learn that the 1 person that was not supposed to let you down probably will, You will have your heart broken more than once and it gets harder every time!Youll break hearts too so remember what it felt like when yours was broken.Youl fight and fall out with your best mate and youll blame a new love for the things an old one did.Youll cry about time going to fast and you will lose more than one person that you love.So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like youve never been hurt because every 60secs you spend upset is a minute of happiness you wont ever get back!