"I drink it when I'm happy and when I'm sad.

Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone.

When I have company I consider it obligatory.

I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and I drink it when I am.

Otherwise I never touch it, unless I'm thirsty."

This is my new motto in life

Got this text from a very good male friend of mine today, made me giggle...

"My friend Jenni is sum yoke, she loves to score with lotsa blokes,
I've known Jen for many years, tru fun times and tru tears,
From times she usta flash her tits to times she usta touch my bits
Now Jen lives so far away and I really miss the good ol' days
Dublin's gain is Fethard's loss, watch is tho, she's a whore to goss.
Sex onda brain and sex onda mind, she loves it tho, every kind.
I think Jen is fuckin brill, havin her home is such a thrill.
Today's ur b-day and ur 26, so for u here's a huge kiss :-*
Enjoy ur b-day and have lotsa fun, wish I was there with ya hun!!
:-* :-* xxx"

Awww.... so sweet. But I would like to point out that not all lines in this message are true, in fact there's lots of lies ha...

MEMORIES EH???

1.You once used Wella Plum mousse or Sun-in in your hair that you thought it was totally original and highly stylish.
2.You owned a compilation tape with top tunes such as "Mr.Vain", What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer"
3.You owned a pair of Nike Air Max.
4.You wore plastic dummies around your neck, the bigger and more luminous the better

5.You owned a Benneton/NafNaf jumper
6.You went away and returned with a hair braid
7.You owned scrunchies in array of colours
8.You remember when Blur were better than Oasis.
9.You went to or dreamed about going to a smash hits concert
10.You remember when sweet valley high was a book

11.10p crisps! e.g. Meanies, Wheelies
12.Levi 501"s
13.Captain planet, James Bond junior and Sharkie and George crime busters of the sea!
14.Puffa jackets
15.Impulse body spray

16.You remember life before alco-pops
17.Don"t forget your toothbrush with Chris Evans
18.You had at least one troll
19.You know the dance to the Macarena and Saturday night
20.You believed 2 Unlimited died in a car crash (they didn't)

21.You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie and Shauna got together.
22.Swatch Pop watches, your friend could show you the time from at least 20 feet away
23.You owned a Mood ring
24.You went into the Body shop to put on vanilla or white musk perfume 25.Black velvet hair bands with a puffy bit on top

26.Shell Suits and Bum Bags
27.Count Duckula and Trap door
28.Black velvet chokers with a little pendant hanging from them
29.You longed to live in Beverly Hills 90210
30.Fruit shaped and scented soaps that usually came from a body shop basket you got for your birthday !

31.Waistcoats on girls
32.You couldn"t listen to Salt "n" Pepa around your parents
33.Fruit salads and Black jacks
34.Who framed Roger Rabbit?
35.Ear cuffs/Muffs

36.You wore leggings with "slouch" socks pulled up (and slouched down)over your leggings.
37.You wore ankle boots to complete the look.
38.You had a "bob" hairstyle.
39.All you did on Saturday was watch "Live and Kicking".Then, "Clarissa". 40.During the summer of "95 you had a farmer tan.

41.You had those Kellogg"s chicken reflector things on your bike spokes. One of your wheels may or may not also have been covered with a plastic "hubcap" with luminous prints on it.
42.You had an Addidas tracksuit.If u were really cool,u had the one with the reversed colours for top and bottoms
43.You owned a pair of rip-offs/tear-aways
44.The only jewelry you could wear was gold and from Argos
45.You sported shag bracelets X 35 on BOTH arms

46.Remember sticking the tongues out of your LA gear runner-boots??!?!
47.And wearing cycling shorts.....with the above mentioned runner-boots.
48.AND remember playing elastics?
49.Remember dying to get one of those check spaghetti strap dresses with a white body top inside.

50."Line dancing" was in for about 2 seconds
51.XWorks jeans, Eclipse Jeans
52.L.A. Gear(the ones with lights)
53.Thinking Shane and Angel were the coolest couple ever.
54.Girls suddenly supporting Man Utd cos they fancied Ryan Giggs and Lee Sharpe

55.Scchhhwiiiing!!
56.Aaaaaanimal
57.Spaceman,I always wanted u 2 go,into space maaaaaaan........
58.Cruchos [American Hotdog flavour] crisps-now they were a treasure of the "90"s
59.Gameboys
60.Nintendo in general.Who was ur fave??Mario or Luigi?!?!?!?

61.POGS...million"s upon billions of feckin" cardboard circles
62.Snappers [for one"s wrist]
63.Stretch Armstrong[also had Fetch Armstrong,his trusty pet dog]
64.Tamagotchi"s [the bane of parents everywhere]
65.Boom boom booooom,let me hear u say WAAY-OH ...that was some feckin" cringe-packed decade!!!!