01. You must listen to (and name) at least 100 metal bands (power metal not included) before you are extreme.
02. Hair must be shoulder length, longer, or completely shaved off.
03. Drummers must weigh either under 60kg, or over 140kg - No in betweens.
04. Band logos must be totally undecipherable.
05. Song tempos are only allowed to register under 40bpm (extreme), or over 240bpm (extreme).
06. Thank-you list must comprise of every extreme metal band in existence (even if you have never met the band or heard their music).
07. The police picture of your ex-vocalist’s suicide must be used for the next album cover.
08. Drummer must be limited to blast beats and grind beats (even at 40bpm)
09. Profess the glory of Satan, especially if you are an atheist.
10. Sing about ancient cultures, and invent your own language to sing in.
11. Develop cancer or a tumor of some type.
12. Refer to 1
13. Wear every manner of injury inflicting clothing - manacles, bullet belts, spiky shin pads etc.
14. Sing about the dark lord and/or gore on your first album, and then onto politics and life on all proceeding albums, apparently you 'have matured'.
15. Wear black. Always.
16. Drive a funeral car as transportation for the band.
17. Release an album, then a year later, re-release it with a bonus track just to make people buy the album again.
18. Record twice as many songs as you plan to release, then ten year's later release the album as a collector's item.
19. Record a whole bunch of new songs, add a high frequency hiss, and cut the low frequencies, then release it as 'pre-band demo recordings'
20. Guitars must be shaped so that they may be used as a grievous weapon.
21. Never ever have the same band line up for any album or tour.
22. Feud with the band members that move on to other bands (good publicity).
23. Pretend that you 'hail from Norway'.
24. Do as many side projects that are humanly possible in your extreme time budget. One band, at least, must feature a female singer (your wife, cause no one else is extreme enough).
25. Albums should either be less than thirty minutes, or exactly sixty six minutes and six seconds.
26. In summer, black clothing can be hand torn into singlets and shorts to deal with heat (NEVER use scissors)
27. Have a royal throne for a toilet seat/table seat/car seat etc.
28. Marry a girl with so many piercings, she has more metal in her than a Massey Fergusson tractor – and can never get through a metal detector at the airport.
29. Have 52 metal t-shirts - one for each week of the year.
30. Play only Jackson and/or B.C.Rich guitars.
31. The first letter of every album titles must start at A, and then progress through the alphabet. (Altars of Madness, Blessed Are the Sick, Covenant...)
32. Become a 'specialist producer' of extreme metal, and build your very own studio in the heart of the Norwegian forest (helps with Forest Metal).
33. Forest metal is running round a dark forest, with a $10 Casio Keyboard, and a $5 microphone, records your new 'extreme atmospheric project'
34. Sing about serial killers only after you've met one and formed a relationship with them.
35. Never play in key. Chromaticism is the only way.
36. Let keyboard players 'jump' from band to band (it’s the only jumping they're allowed to do).
37. Claim to have burnt down a church and gone to jail for it (even if you really haven't).
38. Say the word 'EXTREME' and cross your arms in a X shape when you shout it, as often as possible
39. Play the bass without a plectrum.
40. Play drums barefoot, or in white socks if feeling especially extreme.
41. Call everyone 'Sons of Satan' even if you are addressing a female.
42. Be involved in the porn industry in any way possible, preferably as an actor called 'Penetrator' or 'Frosty-Spire'
43. Play only Axis bass drum pedals.
44. Take speed to be the fastest band on earth.
45. Smoke weed to be the slowest band on earth.
46. Guitars must be tuned lower than Ab

I am...
[ ] Single
[x] Taken
[x] Happy
[x] Sad
[x] Angry
[ ] A meat-eater
[x] A vegetarian
[ ] Crying
[x] Tired

Currently I'm...
[x] Alone
[ ] With another person
[ ] With a group of people
[x] In pajamas
[ ] Naked
[x] Dressed comfortably
[x] In my clothes from today
[x] Listening to music
[x] Watching TV
[ ] Watching a movie

I own...
[x] A laptop
[x] A stereo
[x] An MP3 player/iPod
[ ] an inflatable chair
[ ] A bean bag chair
[ ] A lava lamp
[ ] A black light
[ ] An automobile
[x] A musical instrument
[x] A CD player
[x] A CD burner
[x] A DVD burner
[x] Over 100 CDs

I have...
[ ] Glasses
[ ] Contacts
[ ] Pierced ear(s)
[ ] Tattoo(s)
[x] Scars from accidental injuries
[x] Scars from other injuries
[ ] Missing teeth
[ ] A broken body part

I've physically met...
[x] A celebrity
[x] A poor person
[x] A rich person
[ ] The president
[x] Family I never knew existed
[x] Someone from another state
[x] Someone from another country
[x] Someone EXACTLY like me in personality
[ ] Someone EXACTLY like me in looks

I have been...
[ ] Legally dead
[ ] Engaged
[ ] Married
[ ] Divorced
[x] in a car accident
[ ] Arrested
[x] Questioned by police
[ ] In a police car (willingly)
[ ] In a police car (forced)

I have been called...
[x] A liar
[x] Crazy
[x] gothic
[x] Punk
[x] Depressed/Suicidal
[ ] Preppy
[ ] Ghetto
[ ] Jock
[x] Slut
[x] Skater
[x] Bitch
[x] Stupid
[x] Freak
[ ] Conceited
[x] Emo
[x] Scene
[x] Nerd
[x] Something other than these
[ ] None of the above
[ ] Suprisingly, nothing
[ ] I AM none of these things, I've just been called
[x] I am at least 1 of these things i've been called

[x] ι'м ѕкιииу, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє αиσяєχι¢.
[x] ι'м ємσ, ѕσ ι мυѕт ¢υт му ωяιѕтѕ.
[x] ι'м вℓα¢к, ѕσ ι мυѕт ¢αяяу α gυи.
[x] ι'м нιѕραиι¢, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє ∂ιяту.
[x] ι'м αѕιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє ѕмαят.
[x] ι'м иσт ℓιкє єνєяуσиє єℓѕє, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ℓσѕєя.
[x] ι'м נєωιѕн, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє gяєє∂у.
[x] ι'м gαу, ѕσ ι мυѕт нανє αι∂ѕ.
[x] ι'м α ℓєѕвιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт нανє α ѕєχ-тαρє.
[x] ι'м αяαв, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α тєяяσяιѕт.
[x] ι ѕρєαк му мιи∂, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α вιт¢н.
[x] ι'м αи αтнєιѕт, ѕσ ι мυѕт нαтє тнє ωσяℓ∂.
[x] ι'м ѕσυтнєяи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє ωнιтє тяαѕн.
[x] ι тαкє αитι-∂єρяєѕѕαитѕ, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє ¢яαzу.
[x] ι'м ιяιѕн, ѕσ ι мυѕт нανє α вα∂ ∂яιикιиg ρяσвℓєм.
[x] ι'м ιи∂ιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт σωи α ¢σиνєиιєит ѕтσяє.
[x] ι'м αтнℓєтι¢, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє ѕтυρι∂.
[x] ι'м α тєєиαgєя, ѕσ ι мυѕт ∂яιик αи∂ ∂σ ∂яυgѕ.
[x] ι'м α ¢нєєяℓєα∂єя, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ωнσяє.
[x] ι'м α ρυик, ѕσ ι мυѕт ∂σ ∂яυgѕ.
[x] ι'м уσυиg, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє иαινє.
[x] ι'м яι¢н, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ¢σи¢єιтє∂ ѕиσв.
[x] ι ωєαя вℓα¢к, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α gσтн.
[x] ι'м вℓσи∂є, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ѕтυρι∂ ∂ιтz.
[x] ι'м ρяєтту, ѕσ ι мυѕт иσт вє α νιяιgи.
[x] ι'м мєχι¢αи, ѕσ ι мυѕт нανє нσρρє∂ тнє вσя∂єя.
[x] ι'м иσт α νιяgιи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє єαѕу.
[x] ι'м α тєєиαgє мαм, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє αи ѕℓυт.
[x] ι'м ιтαℓιαи, ѕσ му fαмιℓу мυѕт σωи α ριzzєяια.
[x] ι gσт α ¢αя fσя ¢няιѕтмαѕ σя му вιятн∂αу, sσ ι мυѕт вє α ѕρσιℓє∂ вяαт.
[x] ι нανє ѕтяαιgнт α'ѕ, ѕσ ι мυѕт нανє иσ ѕσ¢ιαℓ ℓιfє.
[x] ι ∂ує му нαιя ¢яαzу ¢σℓσяѕ, ι мυѕт ωαит αттєитισи.
[x] ι'м ιитσ тнєαтяє & αят, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α нσмσѕєχυαℓ.
[x] ι'м α νєgєтαяιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ¢яαzу α¢тινιѕт.
[x] ι нανє gυу fяιєи∂ѕ, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє fυ¢кιиg тнєм.
[x] ι нανє α вυи¢н σf gιяℓ fяιєи∂ѕ, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє gαу.
[x] ι'м ¢σℓσмвιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ∂яυg ∂єαℓєя.
[x] ι ωєαя ωнαт ι ωαит, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ρσѕєя.
[x] ι'м яυѕѕιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт иσт ¢αяє αвσυт fєєℓιиgѕ.
[x] ι'м gєямαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α иαzι.
[x] ι'м вяαzιℓℓιαи, ѕσ ι мυѕт вє α ѕℓυт.
[x] ι ωєαя gιяℓ ραитѕ, ѕσ ι мυѕт нανє иσ fяιєи∂ѕ.
[x] му вσуfяιєи∂'ѕ σℓ∂єя, нє мυѕт σиℓу вє ωιтн мє fσя ѕєχ.
[x] ι нανє fяιєи∂ѕ σℓ∂єя тнαи мє, ѕσ ι мυѕт ∂σ ∂яυgѕ.