Yo momma’s so fat she entered a fat contest and won first, second and third.

Yo momma’s so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out!


Yo momma’s so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma’s so fat that she has to wear two watches cuz she takes up two time zones.

Yo momma’s so fat she was in the middle of the highway I tried to swerve but ran out of gas.

Yo momma’s so fat she started singing "we are family, McDonalds, Burger King and me".

Yo momma’s so fat she takes posters not pictures.

Yo momma’s so fat that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.


Yo momma’s so fat when she dances the band skips.

Yo momma’s so fat she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease and the doctor gave her 17 years to live.

Yo momma’s so fat the animals at the zoo feed her

Yo momma’s so fat that when she stood up everyone yelled out "eclipse"!

Yo momma’s so fat she was Miss Arizona class Battleship.

Yo momma’s so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!


Yo momma’s so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma’s so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!

Yo momma’s so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo momma’s so fat she went to Jenny Craig's and they said "We asked for your weight not your phone number.

Yo momma’s so fat when she put on high-heels and walked out onto the street, she struck oil!

Yo momma’s so fat they had to grease the doorframe and stick a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.


Yo momma’s so fat that when she was floatin' in the ocean Spain tried to claim her as the new world.

Yo momma’s so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons.

Yo momma’s so fat when I got on top of her my ears popped.

Yo momma’s so fat when she went to Sizzlers she got a group discount.

Yo momma’s so fat her parents had to take her to sea world to get baptized.

Yo momma’s so fat when she went to a restaurant the waiter said "Party of five."


Yo momma’s so fat when she gets in a elevator it says next stop hell.

Yo momma’s so fat when she jumped on a trampoline with yellow on, the sun said I give up!

Yo momma’s so fat when she went to the beach and got into the water scientist classified her as a new species of whale.

Yo momma’s so fat when I finally got on top of her, I burned my ass with the light bulb.

Yo momma’s so fat when she sat in the road I ran out of gas trying to go around her.

Yo momma’s so fat when she walks her butt claps.


Yo momma’s so fat, she bungee jumped and fell straight to Hell.

Yo momma’s so fat when she ordered a waterbed they put a blanket over the ocean.

Yo momma’s so fat, she has a run in her blue jeans.

Yo momma’s so fat her bellybutton doesn't have lint it has sweaters.

Yo momma’s so fat Richard Simmons makes fun of her.

Yo momma’s so fat she has her own zip code.


Yo momma’s so fat she landed down on the earth and made the dinosaurs extinct.

Yo momma’s so fat last time she saw 90210 was on the scale.

Yo momma’s so fat her butt's got its own congressman

Yo momma’s so fat my dog bit her and died of high cholesterol.

Yo momma’s so fat I tried to walk around her and got lost.

Yo momma’s so fat she can jumpstart a space shuttle.


Yo momma’s so fat on her drivers license it says pictures continued on the other side.

Yo momma’s so fat she broke a branch off of the family tree.

Yo momma’s so fat she sat in a chair, and the chair started singing I'm going down.

Yo momma’s so fat she bent over and got arrested for selling crack!

Yo momma’s so fat she goes to Earl Shines Auto Garage to get her toenails painted.

Yo momma’s so fat on Hallowe

I know its wrong to laugh at others displeasure.
But this oppourtunity cannot be passed up.

Here is a list of funny phobias. 100% True.

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.
Aurophobia- Fear of gold.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity.
Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman.
Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed.
Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.
Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions.
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Genophobia- Fear of sex.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
Hobophobia- Fear of bums or beggars.
Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis
Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.
Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down.
Koniophobia- Fear of dust. (They'd piss there pants in my room)
Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables.
Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.
Metallophobia- Fear of metal.
Mnemophobia- Fear of memories.
Myxophobia- Fear of slime.
Novercaphobia- Fear of your mother-in-law.
Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Phallophobia- Fear of a penis, esp erect
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Proctophobia- Fear of rectums.
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Russophobia- Fear of Russians.
Sciophobia/Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Somniphobia- Fear of sleep.
Syngenesophobia- Fear of relatives.
Syphilophobia- Fear of syphilis.
Trichophobia- Fear of hair.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons. (whatever that is)
Xylophobia- 1) Fear of wooden objects. 2) Forests.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.

This is by far the best
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophob
ia- Fear of long words.

That’s pretty much the best ones, but if you wanna check out the whole list, go to http://www.phobialist.com/