When girls drink too much............



1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is



2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around



3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago



5. We drop our 3:00 a.m. burger on the floor (which we're eating even though we are not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it



6. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much



7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "oh my god! i love this song!"



8. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us



9. The man we're flirting with used to be our 5th grade teacher10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to us



11. Our eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so we keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy



12. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it



13. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just coke, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka



14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor



15. We start every conversation with a booming, "don't take this the wrong way but..."



16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it



17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves18. We are tired so we just sit on the floor (wherever we happen to be standing) and take a quick nap



19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly pants to cut down on the time we're in the bathroom away from our drink



20. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight





Send this along to all the girls you know who like to have fun. Make them laugh at themselves like you probably did... sadly, many are true!!!!!!

A POEM FOR GIRLS

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpieceand yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost;
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, "Oh yeah, I can get her."
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest !!!
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL,
A BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN.
Get it? You DICK!?!

ωнαт α gιяℓ ωαитѕ


1. Getting kissed in the pouring rain
2. Have that one hot kiss where you're pressed against the wall.
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world.
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs.
5. A guy that whispers he loves you in your ear.
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes.
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about.
9. Wearing his jacket and every time you breath in, his scent surrounds you.
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand.
12. A guy that says he loves you and means it.
13. A guy that will play her favourite song outside her window.
14. A guy who is loyal.
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable or pretty...not hot, fine, or sexy.
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A guy that says cheesy stuff to you just to make you smile.
20. A guy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends.
21. A guy that tells you everything honestly.
22. A guy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family.
23. A guy that will always let you win.
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who he is against.
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been.
26. A guy who tells you that your smile makes everything better.
27. A guy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet.
28. A guy who you can hangout and have fun with.
29. A guy that will just randomly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you.
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you, you make his day better, just for being you