[Roy] Is that a fire?
[Moss] Don't worry, I sent a Email

With all due respect, If you type 'Google' into 'Google', you can break the internet, so please, no one try it, even for a joke=]

Will you stop ruddy swearing?! My ears are NOT a toilet!!

I can't go to prison Roy, they'll rape the flip out of me.

Its like a big ball of wibbley wobbley timey wimey.....stuff

I don't like the term unpregnable it's alot like unsinkable UNIT soilder-'what's wrong with unsinkable' the fourth doctor-'why nothing as the ice berg said to the titanic

I have an iq of 6000 which is about the same as 6000 PE teachers

I knew the space core would be tough, I faced the fact that shopping was unlikely, but now I'm stuck here with pipes that squalookle when they shoud nureek, and a fridge full of trainers!!!

It stands to reason that the fewer parts you have on your Porsche, the more expensive it becomes. Until you get to the point where someone with no Porsche at all walks past a showroom, they’re gonna get charged a million pounds.

Some say that he's terrified of ducks, and that there's an airport in Russia named after him... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

If this were America, it would be full of people doing... whatever it is they do. Incest, mostly, I think.

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves... all we know is, he's called the Stig

Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'

I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets, and no matter how much I try, I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.

[after JD thinks Cox has given Chief Resident to Elliot] No, no. I totally understand. Come on, you did what you had to do. You went with your gut; Elliot's a great doctor. I do have three questions, though: Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love? Who's gonna tell my mom? And what the hell am I supposed to do with ten thousand 'John Dorian, Chief Resident' business cards?

If the patient is dead.... and your sure, you can feel free to tell them anything you want {nervous laugh}

[Turk] J.D., big news! Guess what my new cell phone number spells!
[J.D.] Why'd you get a new cell phone number? Your old number spelled 'kufunninapuh.'
[Turk] Yeah, well this one's 916-CALL-TURK. Yeah, so now all you gotta do is call Turk!
[J.D.] How'm I supposed to remember that? I'm begging you, stick with 'kufunninapuh'!
[Turk] Come on, man, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me besides getting married.
[J.D.] She's not here.
[Turk] It's the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Elliot: Dr Cox, do you think I look like a clown in this lipstick? Cr Cox: No Barbie, No.. I think you look like a prostitute who hires exclusively too clowns

I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.

This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments

[Elliot] Somebody just had a baby...
[Dr. Cox] How do you know?
[Elliot] My uterus is glowing...

We did everything we could for him... Sorry got to go... Boobie-horn!

Next thing you know its twenty years later, you're standing over him while he sleeps, your third martini in one hand and a steak knife in the other and sure he's after taking a sleeping pill so you can slice his arm open a little bit without waking him up but it's not satisfying and you know why because you lost the power (to Dr Cox) Per Per, did you ever figure out what happened to your arm?
[Dr Cox] Nope

No, you look! If someone had asked me just this morning, Is there any way that I could have less respect for you two geniuses? I would have said, 'No! No, that's not possible!' But, low and behold, you went and pulled it off. Congratulations. The only problem is I'm -I'm fresh out of blue ribbons, so instead, you're gonna have to settle for a lifetime supply of my foot up your ass! Now go home. You're not fit to work tonight.