The album ‘Nope, it’s not a mars bar’ made the band instant stars and the money started pouring in as the album shot up the carts, eventually peaking at no.16 in the UK.
Gary was made a permanent member of the band but success led him to addiction. It wasn’t long before the others noticed Gary’s coke problems. He started selling coke and driving around in what became known as ‘the Coke Van’. Gary ultimately landed himself in jail after attacking Ronan Keating.
Gary – “He said Pepsi was better.”
Riots were not uncommon at The Dizzies concerts. Many caused by the band taking so long to take to the stage.
Babyface –“That’s entirely The Lips fault. They’d announce us to go on, he’d jump up and hop in the shower. Dickbag!”
Violence was not confined to the concerts. Princess Jameserella destroyed a hotel room after forgetting his toiletries bag.
To record their follow up album they headed to Ventry, Co.Kerry. Progress was slow mainly due to most of the band being too intoxicated to contribute. Purple Hayes (despite being the loudmouth party animal of the group) doesn’t drink alcohol and so ended up recording most of the album himself.
Hayes –“Dickbags!”
The resulting double album ‘The handshandys’ was disastrous. That wasn’t the only problem facing the Dizzies. Babyface was facing charges of statutory rape. His appeals to the judge of “It was dark”, “I was too drunk to come anyway” and “You fuckin’ telling me you wouldn’t?” didn’t help his cause.
Sean ‘Babyface’ Allen served 22 months of a four year sentence. In his absence Brian ’Gubbs’ Gubbins was brought in on guitar.
Sean O’Donovan was briefly kicked out of the band in the summer of 2003. After having flings with all three of the Corr sisters, Sean was hospitalised by Jim Corr.
Princess Jameserella –“We said anyone who gets an asskicking by Jim ain’t gonna be in the Dizzies but then I said he did lay all the Corr sisters! I mean BONECITY!
With Gubbs pulling the strings the next album saw the Dizzies back on form. Released in Dec ’04 ‘Cream Yourself’ sold 2 million worldwide and reached the top ten both sides of the Atlantic. The band also landed their first no.1 single with the song ‘Pissing in the Sink’ Penned by The Lips.
With Babyface out of prison the lads went to San Francisco to record what became ‘Disco in Frisco’. Most of the influence for ‘Disco’ was from closet homosexual maracas player Gary. The album even featured a collaboration with Gary’s long term on/off boyfriend George Michael.
Its release in Sep ’05 was met with scathing reviews which effected all the band members.
James was the first to go. He joined Westlife and changed his name to Studdley Manlington. “I was just doing what the hair told me to do”.
Ciaran took the reviews personally and started wearing and eventually living in a giant mascot suit and insisted that everyone call him Aza.
Magoo somehow got involved in slavery. “I was literally selling kids on the streets of San Fran”.
Gary with the help of a friend David ‘Doc’ O’Connell on drums recorded an Aha tribute album. Astonishingly it was a huge success but Gary had never gotten the rights to the songs so never received a penny. Gary –“Dickbags!”
Babyface became even more engrossed in the faeces fetish he acquired in prison. “I couldn’t get enough of the shit, literally.”
Purple Hayes was keeping a low profile. The FBI suspected him of being involved in a number of Virgin Sacrifices. No charges were ever made.
After a small plane O’Donovan was supposedly on crashed it was believed the drummer was dead. He was in fact unconscious on the floor of the men’s room after too many groove shots. When he woke he was suffering from amnesia and believed his name to be Hugh Janis.
The Funeral for Sean reunited to the others. The Aphrodisiacs were reformed with Doc taking the drumsticks.
After his first gig

to the tune of the animaniacts

We're the aphrodisiacts
we'll make you horny to the max
we'll make you tingle in your sacks
you can wack off in the jacks
we're the aphrodisiacts.........


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