A Glasgow senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of

the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph

enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

'Amazing!' he thought as he flew along the M8, enjoying pushing the

pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a

police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. 'I can

get away from him - no problem!' thought the elderly Stirling Moss as he

floored it to 110 mph, then 120, then 130 mph. Suddenly, he thought,

'What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!' So he pulled

over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch-up

with him.



Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's

side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10

minutes. Today is Friday and I'm heading off for the weekend. If you can

give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before,

I'll let you go.'



The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, 'Years

ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her

back'



'Have a good day, Sir,' said the policeman

Apartment Rental

> > A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and
> > agrees to spend the night with her for$500.
> > He spends the night with her but before he leaves,
> > he tells her that he does not have any cash with him,
> > but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her,
> > calling the payment
> > 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
> > On the way to the office he regrets what he has done,
> > realizing that the whole event was not worth the price.
> > So he has his secretary send a check for
> > $250
> > and enclosed the following typed note:
> >
> > Dear Madam:
> > Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your
> > apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I
> > rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;
> > 1) it had never been occupied;
> > 2) that there was plenty of heat; and
> > 3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
> > However, I found out that it had been previously occupied,
> > that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
> > Upon receipt of the note,
> > the girl immediately returned the check for $250
> > with the following note:
> >
> > Dear Sir,
> > First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a
> > beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
> > As for the heat, there is plenty of it,
> > if you know how to turn it on.
> > Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size,
> > but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it,
> > please don't blame the landlady.
> > Send the rent in full or we will be forced to
> > contact your present landlady.

What do you think your name means???? well go on and find out!!

I : You have a fine ass
A : You like to drink alcohol.
N : Everyone loves you.

N : Everyone loves you.
E : Damn good kisser.
I : You have a fine ass
L : Your 1 in a million
S : Easy to fall in love with.
O : You are one of the best in bed.
N : Everyone loves you.

Well theres mine.... now do yours!!!!!!!!!

A : You like to drink alcohol.
B : You fuck on the first date
C : You're wild and crazy.
D : You have one of the best personalities ever.
E : Damn good kisser.
F : People adore you.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : Large knockers.
I : You have a fine ass
J : You live life for fun.
K : You are really silly.
L : Your 1 in a million
M : one to have fun.
N : Everyone loves you.
O : You are one of the best in bed.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : Fuckin crazy
S : Easy to fall in love with.
T : Your loyal to those you love
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : one of the best damn bf/gf ne one could ask for.
Z : Always ready.