Ailbhes Moments

How it all started!!
Ailbhe didnt know the set and she was supposed to chain and she goes and chains around her own partner! HAd to be there moment!

Aoife dancing with Shane and he was trying to tell Ailbhe what to do and he was pointing at her and she looks around!!

{Siting in the siting room at about 6.30am} Ailbhe: Shane.....Shane...Shane I promise...Shane I promise I wont stick anything up your arse!!

{Ailbhe & Michelle lying in bed}..Ailbhe: Am I A Bollox?....Am I wierd?
The next night us taking the piss out of Ailbhe and Shane stands up " Hi I'm Ailbhe, and I'm a bollox" we can just see it happening at a meeting sometime!!

Ronan:hey Ailbhe what dya want ta drink?
Ailbhe: I'll have eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmm
 mmmmm
mmmm a coke no eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 mmmmm
mmmmmm lemonade.

Can Horses sleep?

Shane(talking about some girl in a club): She just wanted a bit of the creed!
{Alva with an awful confised look on her face}
Aoife: His surnames Creed
Alva: Ooh i could just picture the bible!!

Shane: I drive a sonny.
Ailbhe: A what.
Shane: A nissan.
Alva: A nissan what?
Shane: a nissan sonny.
Ailbhe: oh i thought it was yellow!!!!

Donie: I'm Goin for a shower.
Aoife: Oh theres a 30cent service charge.
Alva(all shocked): Is there??
Aoife: Yeah were sendin ya a bill at the end a the week.

Grainne:jesus the beach was so cold, my nipples even went in but one couldnt go in with the bar.
Ailbhe: Go in where?...the sea??
...
Next day in th car tellin Diane this even Kelly whos 12 started laughing and Ailbhe still didnt get it, few minutes later Ailbhe gets it!

Ailbhe tellin d taxi driver where to turn as he was turning and he replie "sorry i didnt think i looked Polish", then the next turn she tells him go the wrong way!!!

OK, Ennistymon 2 years ago Ailbhe was lyin in bed and goes dya wanna hear a joke? so this is exactly how she told it " how dya get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Ok well what ya do is ya wave at it and it'il wave book and it only has one arm so it'il fall" so we were eatin in Cogans one night and takin the piss oputta Ailbhe for that and then she told a joke "how did the blone get so many leaves raking? it was sittin in the tree"!!! so Aisling goes I'm Surpried she didnt say"well it was sittin in a tree and it raked all the leaves" everyone else pisin our holes laughing and everyone lookin at us and Ailbhe with not a notion what was going on. so i go you dont get it do ya? Ailbhe says no and aisling says "she was sittin in the tree and she raked it all up" AIlbhe " ya but thats the Joke" us all laughing cuz we were taking the piss outta Ailbhe so we had to tell her what we were laughing at!!


Ailbhe appreciation day!! we dedicated a day to Ailbhe as we had ripped the piss so much!! Everything had to be stored up till half 2 and we let rip then!!

Like skittles on an ironing board!!! Ailbhe didnt get it!!

we told Ronan and Shane about Alva arriving 12 hours early for a ceili, so they told Conor, for the rest a the night Conor going up ta any a us while Alva was there just saying "what time are we going"!!!

Carton of Milk was leaking so we put it onto a jug, jug didnt fit in the fridge so i put it into a sink of water, Shane, Michelle & Ailbhe fixing the side door and Shanes hands were all oil so Shane goes over to the sink to wash em.
Shane: Why the fuck is there a jug a milk in a sink a water?
Ailbhe: Oh Aoife put the there ta keep it warm!!!!

Aisling: Yano Willie Daly the horse riding fella?
Ailbhe: Who?
Aisling: Willie Daly the horse riding fella..
Ailbhe: Mark?????

Is there bears in the Ailiwee caves??!!!!

us in the sea
Aoife: Look theses the cliffs of Moher(in the horizon of course)
Ailbhe: Ohh can we walk there later!

Alva: In a hermadrafrodite where does the penis come from???
Shane: Ohh the bellybutton definately!!
Alva: Really???...what must it look like under a top?!!

Shane: Shit There

WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN

HIM: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HIM: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like
yours
HER: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.

HIM: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
HER: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice ..

HIM: How did you get to be so beautiful?
HER: I must've been given your share.

HIM: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
HER: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HIM: Your face must turn a few heads.
HER: And your face must turn a few stomachs..

HIM: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
HER: Okay, get out.

HIM: I think I could make you very happy.
HER: Why? Are you leaving?

HIM: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
HER: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HIM: Can I have your name?
HER: Why? Don't you already have one?

HIM: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Hiding from you.

HIM: Haven't I seen you some place before?
HER: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HIM: Is this seat empty?
HER: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

HIM: So, what do you do for a living?
HER: I'm a female impersonator.

HIM: Hey baby what's your sign?
HER: Do not enter.

HIM: Your body is like a temple.
HER: Sorry, there are no services today .

HIM: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
HER: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest
dreams .

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is,where the hell is yours?Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is???

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". EH YEAH! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Why do people do this??

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid €12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?!

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". Yeah im just standin here for the CRAIC! GET A CLUE!