Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings & then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

A BLACK MAN WALKS INTO A CAFE EARLY ONE MORNING AND NOTICES HE'S THE ONLY ONE THERE

AS HE SAT DOWN HE NOTICED A WHITE MAN SAT BEHIND HIM, THE WHITE MAN SAID "COLOURED PEOPLE ARN'T ALLOWED IN HERE" .

THE BLACK MAN REPLIED...

"WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS BLACK

WHEN I GREW UP I WAS BLACK

WHEN I'M SICK I'M BLACK

WHEN I GO IN THE SUN I'M BLACK

WHEN I'M COLD I'M BLACK

AND WHEN I DIE I'M BLACK.

BUT YOU SIR...

WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE PINK

WHEN YOUR'E SICK YOUR'E GREEN

WHEN YOU STAY IN THE SUN YOUR'E RED

WHEN YOUR'E COLD YOU TURN BLUE

AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU TURN "PURPLE."

"AND YET YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME COLOURED"

THE BLACK MAN TURNED BACK AROUND AND THE WHITE MAN WALKED AWAY.

COPY THIS INTO YOUR SPACE AND HELP ERASE RACISM!!