IS THERE EVER REALLY HPPINESS IN THE WORLD?
FOR ME? NO
HAPPINESS DOES EXSIST BUT NOT FOR ME
JOY, PEACE, CONTENTMENT, THEY EXSIST BUT NOT FOR ME
SOMETIMES THROUGHOUT MY LIFE I TOHUGHT I FELT THESE THINGS BUT THEY WEREN'T REAL
WHEN I LAUGHED, WHEN I SMILED, WHEN I HAD FRIENDS, WHEN I FELT LOVE I BELIEVED THAT I WAS HAPPY BUT TO BE TRUTHFUL IT WAS ONLY AN ILLUSION
BACAUSE THEY EVENTUALLY DISAPPEARED
TRUE HAPPINESS NEVER FADES
IT NEVER DISAPPEARES IT NEVER DIES
FOR OTHER PEOPLE IT'S THERE BUT NOT FOR ME
I SEE PEOPLE WITH TRUE HAPPINESS BECAUSE WHEN THEY'RE IN PAIN YOU CAN STILL SEE THE HAPPINESS HIDDEN INSIDE
IN THE BACKGROUND YOU SEE THAT LITTLE GLIMMER OF LIGHT. THAT LITTLE PIECE OF JOY
IT'S HARD YOU KNOW, KNOWING THAT HAPPINESS WILL NEVER COME TO YOU
I USED TO HAVE HOPE THAT SOMEDAY OR SOMEONE WOULD COME, THAT THAT LIGHT WOULD COME FOR MEBUT AS QUICKLY AS THE FALSE HAPPINESS DISAPPEARED, SO DID THE HOPE
IT DISSOLVED IN THE PAIN, THE ANGUISH, THE HURT
I CAN'T HELP HOW I FEEL
IT'S WHO I AM
PAIN EXSISTS MORE FOR ME BECAUSE I BELIEVE I FEEL MORE THAN OTHERS
I FEEL THINGS OTHERS WOULD NEVER DARE TO FEEL
THEY'RE SCARED OF IT, SCARED TO FEEL TRULY HURT
SCARED TO OPEN THEMSELVES UP TO FEEL TRUE PAIN
I KNOW THE PAIN
NOT THROUGH SITUATION OR PHYSICAL HURT BUT I'VE FELT MY HEART TRULY SHATTER
WHERE THERE ARE ONLY TINY SHARDS LEFT, BROKEN, CRUMBLED AND DESTROYED
WILL THERE EVER BE ANYONE TO PIECE THEM TOGETHER AGAIN? NO
I SAY NO NOT BECAUSE I'VE GIVEN UP
I JUST DON'T BELIEVE ANYONE OUT THER WANTS TO SAVE ME
I EXSIST IN NOTHINGNESS
I LIVE DAY BY DAY THROUGH SHEER WILL POWER
I LIVE IN A DELUISION THAT SOMEWHER SOMEONE LOVES ME
BUT DEEP DOWN I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE
I KNOW I'M NOT LOVED
I KNOW I'M NOT WANTED
SO AM I SELFISH? LIVING EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTS ME TO LIVE
BUT I CAN'T GIVE UP
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE
BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH ALL I FEEL IS PAIN I'M JUST GLAD I FEEL SOMETHING
MY LIFE MAY BE NOTHING, BUT TO FEEL NOTHING THATS A DEATH SENTENCE IN ITSELF
I'M NOT A BAD PERSON
I KNOW I'VE HURT PEOPLE THROUGH MY ACTIONS, THROUGH MY WORDS BUT I'VE ALWAYS SAID SORRY, I'VE ALWAYS DEALT WITH THE CONSEQUENCES
SO WHY AM I STILL BEING HUNTED
WHY AM I STILL ALONE
RUNNING FROM THE PEOPLE THAT DON'T WANT ME HERE
WHAT HAVE I TRULY DONE WRONG
DID I TRUST PEOPLE TOO MUCH
DID I HURT THEM SO BADLY THAT I CAN NEVER BE FORGIVEN
I DON'T KNOW AND IT'S A QUESTION I AN'T ANSWER
ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M STILL HERE
BECAUSE IF THEY HATED ME THAT BADLY THEY'D HAVE KILLED ME
BUT I CAN DEAL WITH THE LONLINESS
IN MY OWN WAY I CAN LIVE ALWAYS BY MYSELF
I COVER THE HURT OF BEING REJECTED WITH PAIN
BECAUSE CAUSING MYSELF PAIN IS ONE THING I'M GOOD AT
IT'S NOT THE BEST WAY TO LIVE BUT IT'S A LIFE
A LIFE NO ONE WILL MAKE ME GIVE UP
IT'S MINE
MY LIFE
MY PAIN
MY DELUISION
IT'S MINE.