Things To Do In An Elevator
1) When there\'s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn\'t you.
2)Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, \"Hi Gregg. How\'s your day been\" 6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up,then scream,\"That\'s mine!\"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.
9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, \"Did you feel that?\"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, \"It\'s okay, don\'t panic, they open again!\"
15) Swat at flies that don\'t exist.
16) Call out, \"Group Hug!\" and then enforce it.
17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering,
1 Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, \"Got enough air in there?\"
19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,without getting off.
20) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, \"Your one of THEM!\" and back away slowly.
21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, \"I have new socks on\".
25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, \"This is MY personal space!\"

Hey guys,
As many of you will have already heard I have decided to Close Club Heaven with Immediate Effect!
As many of you know there had been a number of difficulties with operating two club nights in the same venue namely a Polish night on the Club LA Floor and Club Heaven on the upper level.
There had also been a number of other issues including basic maintenance issues from cleaning to the fact that the Air Conditioning system did not work nor were certain Fridges or Beer coolers working correctly.
I have endeavored to address these issues over the past months, in order to provide a safe secure comfortable Gay Club Venue for a Saturday night .
However the management of Club LA for various reasons felt unable to deal with these very real issues and indeed were seeking a 50% rent increase on the venue (which could have potentially left me with annualized losses of over €15,000)
All of these issues have led me to conclude the only option at this moment in time is to Close Club Heaven immediately! I will however continue to work with others to provide a comfortable safe and secure Saturday night Gay Club Venue in Galway and am actively pursuing negotiations on both Club and Bar venues!
So in the mean time enjoy the Friday night at the BridCage (Downstairs in the Cellar) and for your Saturday nights remember The Cellar Bar, The Roisin Dubh, Masimo's and the Living room all operate Gay Friendly Bars and Club Nights
Thank you too all the Staff who Worked in Heaven and more importantly Thank you to all of you who supported Heaven through your Custom
xxxx

> Two builders, Phil and Eric, are seated either side of a table in a
> rough pub when a well dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a
> stool at the bar.
>
> The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
>
> Phil: I reckon he's an accountant.
>
> Eric: No way he's a stockbroker.
>
> Phil: He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
>
> The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets
> the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet
> he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the
> several beers get the better of the builder.
>
> Phil: Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering
> what you do for a living?
>
> Suit: No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
>
> Phil: Oh! What's that then?
>
> Suit: I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
>
> Phil: Er... mmm..well yeah, I do as it happens!
>
> Suit: Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
> pond. Which is it?
>
> Phil: It's in a pond!
>
> Suit: Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
> then?
>
> Phil: As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!
>
> Suit: Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
> large garden then you have a large house?
>
> Phil: As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself!
>
> Suit: Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical
> to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
> quite probably married?
>
> Phil: Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.
>
> Suit: Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
> with your wife on a regular basis?
>
> Phil: Yep! Four nights a week!
>
> Suit: Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
> very often?
>
> Phil: Me? Never.
>
> Suit: Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
>
> Phil: How's that then?
>
> Suit: Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
> about your sex life!
>
> Phil: I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!
>
> Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
>
> Eric: I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
>
> Phil: Yep! He's a logical scientist!
>
> Eric: What's that then?
>
> Phil: I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
>
> Eric: Nope.
>
> Phil: Well then, you're a wanker.
>