Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he would burn for 1,000 days. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he sleeps inside out. And that he has had full sex with Russell Brand's answering machine. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

Some say that by law he's not allowed within 100 yards of Lorraine Kelly and that he's never seen Top Gear because he's a huge fan of Midsomer Murders. And ... it's almost impossible for him to wear socks. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that his blood smells of Root Beer. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say that one of his eyes is a teste. And that he was turned down for I'm A Celebrity... because people have heard of him. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say parts of him are surprisingly bulbous. And that he recently spent time in an Ethiopian prison for accidentally calling his teddy The Emperor Haile Selassie ... bear. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say that his genitals are on up side down and that he could solve the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he should be switched off at the mains overnight and that David Hasslehoff calls him 'son'. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say his first name really is ‘The', and that he has a surprising number of shoulders. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he can swim seven lengths under water and he has webbed buttocks. All we know is, he's called The Stig

Some say that his skin is the texture of a dolphin's and that he has his own satellites. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say that every week he sheds his entire skin, like a snake and that for some reason he's allergic to the Dutch. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say that he's Mac compatible, and that he once punched a horse to the floor. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he thought Star Wars was a documentary. And that he backed out of I'm A Celebrity at the last minute because he's scared of Australia. And trees. And Koo Stark. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he never blinks and that he roams local woodland foraging for mouse meat. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he invented November. And that for some reason he's been in Brazil all weekend and he came back looking very pleased. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say that after he makes love, he eats his partner's head. And that he's recently cut down on his binge drinking, because it's gone up to £1.18 a litre. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he's got a digital face, and that if he felt like it he could fire Alan Sugar. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say his scrotum actually generates a small gravity field. And that because our producer rigged the results of a viewer phone in. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he once wrestled an elephant to the ground using the power of his mind and an alarming hairstyle. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he has a life size tattoo of his face, on his face. And that his droppings have been found as far north as York. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he has a pink stripey jumper exactly like mine and that Some say he doesn't understand queuing. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he invented Branston Pickle and that if you insult his mother, he will headbutt you in the chest. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say his watch goes up to 14, and that he thinks the credit crunch is a new type of breakfast cereal. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he drinks by sucking the moisture out of ducks, and that his crash helmet design is modelled on Britney Spears' head. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he tastes exactly the same as watercress, and that he was once arrested for flicking g

1. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
2. Chuck Norris does not hunt,
because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax
by pointing at her and saying "Boo-Ya!"
5. When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
7. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
8. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
9. It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen.
10. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.
11. Chuck Norris died ten years ago,
but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
12. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
13. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
14. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... And fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
15. Chuck Norris is not built like a horse... horses are built like Chuck Norris
16. Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris, so he can scare the shit out of them.
17. Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.
18. Chuck Norris comes home and his girlfriend looks to him and says
“Hey Chuck How Much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?” Chuck Norris Immediately says “How dare you rhyme in the presence of Chuck Norris” Roundhouses her and telling her “Don’t fuck with Chuck” Then, Two years and five months later he realises the irony of what he said and laughs so hard everyone in a hundred mile radius was deafened
19. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
20. Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
21. Chuck Norris gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more.
22. When Chuck Norris eats Chinese food... He only uses one chopstick.
23. Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men.
24. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
25. Chuck Norris does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.
26. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face
27. Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hopes to occupy the seat next to God.
God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe...I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride."
Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because
of all my achievements."
God then turns to Chuck Norris,
who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
28. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
29. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
30. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
31. Rather than being born like a normal child, Chuck Norris punched his way out of his mother womb, round-house-kicked the doctor and told "Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris" shortly later he grew a b

Sarah [[Me]]

Would you like some Megan with your Debate?
If I have hypothermia its your fault
*Touches boobs* OMG!! I need a bigger bra...
Bend over... I want to ram u up the ass......... With my trolly
You know lights give off light pollution... So its bad for the environment *a light goes off* Oh... I guess they heard me
Its just cuz your pregnant
BAM CHIKA WAH WAH... (not really my thing though i like i like to say it)
Stirring more shit than a toilet....no wait than intestines.
I shall call my daughter Abraham
The Lord is My Shepherd (hahahaha katie... haha)
My bigs have got boober
I LIKE SECKS WITH JEWS...
The bastads (as said in a New Jersey accent)
Gap toothed bastards
I was raped? Since When?? I wasn't informed!
I will physically throw yooh into the mosh pit if yooh bother me
(to Mrs Goss in quiz answering a question on tea) Ahh... Me loves me tea me does
NIRVANAETALLICA!!
Cad é an scraig??
Try that again this time, without the mirror
The colour of the weekend... Was... UNDERWEAR
The lesbitchins
I have a banana not... No wait... I have a banana... NOT
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No its Mary Magdelene!!
I'll Batchslap ya shotebag!!
(in reference to the lowlow cheese ad) Yeh I bet shes high and her kids have found her with a needle stuck in her arm and they're saying "Oh god... shes on funnyjuice again... Lets go upstairs and eat our own faeces..."


Aisling

You Come For The Show, And Stay For The Aisling
Your Right You Know!
HEY Look At Me Im Batman! *Has Knickers on Head*
CHEDDER!
SARAH HAS AIDS!!
Sarah (or anybody elses name) SMELLS!!!... Wait for it... Nice!! see? see what I did there??
Antony, SCREW ME!! Technology together
Omg - Im Wearing Thee Coolest Pair Of Pants Today!
St Joes Boy! Oh No Wait, Sacred Heart Girl - My Mistake!
Mr McAleevy: Aisling, Thats Just Like Saying, "Are You A Girl?"
Aisling: Well If You Really Wanna Know...*lifts Top*
FREE HUGS!
*To Random Person* WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME????!!!!
Can You Repeat The Question Please?
What The Devil Are You Talking About??
Hallo *Touch Cheek*
What? I Cant Mosh! I Have My Boobs To Think Of! They're All I hav In The World..*Kisses boobehs*
*Thinks Of Comeback* UR MA!
Yes Im Fine *Crazy Smile*
I Like You. When I Achieve World Domination You Shall Not Be Killed
Yes, that was a good cover up.
I have something important to tell you...no reli important.... I WANNA TAKE YOOH TO THE GAY BAR!!!
Sarah?? This is really important... I GOT TO HEAT IT UP I GOT TO GOT TO HEAT IT UP
If You Dont Shaatup, Im Seriously Gunna eat You.


Emma

So...what colour is the white?
OMG!! This sounds like Japan!!
I'm 6! no wait I'm twice that, I'm 7...
Shit-up.
*frowns* hallo!!
Kong King
Aisling, You're a total retard. But however, You're my retard.
Lycra Reminds me Of A Word I Cant Say In Public
GO EAT UR BUTT!
Yeah well... She is from Spanish like...
Only gayboys take on Spanish... Yeah ur sisters boyfriend IS GAY!!!
Omg! In my ear I've gone deaf in one ear!
*Emma MG I HEAR A BABY CRYING!!! IN A CAR!!!! ITS LOCKED IN!! *Aisling: Yeah you could hear that with your Spider-sensitive hearing... GO SAVE THE BABY *Emma: Nah thats just a kid that doesn't wanna go somewhere
Im telling on you meghan!
I know Pie to a thousand places
Its four *holds up two fingers*


Random

'And to that end girls...' - Mrs McMahon

'And some posh people getting other people to wipe their asses with expensive toilet paper... Come on! They should go out there and play some rock and roll for god's sakes!!' - Alice Cooper

'Is That The Bell Girls? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! - Mr McAleavey

'Yas breaking my heart girls' - Mr McAleavey

'CAN YAS HEAR ME GIRLS? CUZ IF YAS CAN'T I'LL SHOUT FOR YAS!' - Mr McAleavey

'Miss Emily... Is that in your brainbox? BOOMF! It is now' - Mr McAleavey

'Now girls... This is my Spectrogram. I dunno what that means cuz i just made it up