friend of mine rang me during the week - late at night - was very upset - he was on his own - depressed - wanted some company - watch a dvd or two - i didnt really want to go - i was broke - the taxi would cost a small fortune - spoke for an hour - close to midnight i finally agreed - borrowed the taxi fare and said i was on the way - before i left he said "um, mate, um don't get angry or take this the wrong way but, um, nah, never mind, come over, will be good to see u"

i asked him what he was talking about and he said basically could i not be gay - he lives in rough area and he doesnt want anyone to know he has a gay friend in case anyone called around - he then gave me a list of do's and don'ts - what not to wear, how not to act, if anyone visits what i'm to do (basically go for a walk until they leave) etc - i still have no idea why i didnt tell him to feck off but no - i went - i played it str8 - nobody called to his house so i didnt have to do the walk of shame - he barely spoke to me while i was there - he put str8 porn on instead of just a regular film - he stripped off naked - walked around - then went to have a bath - i went to bed (fuming) got up early next morning and got the first bus back into the city

forgot to mention - he's a closet gay

whatever my feelings for him now (i will never visit him again) i am disgusted more at my own behaviour - i have no respect for my own actions

never again!

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is
a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am
embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who
did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'

No one moved.

The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this
is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will
feel glory. Now, stand and confess your transgression.'

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, Betty, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would
stop traffic, rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice
quivered as she spoke,

'Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you
were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends
that you were a wizard under the sheets.'

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared with laughter.

what a man should know....

exfoliate daily before moisturising and applying light base...

chemical peels are supposed to hurt until u neutralise...

lighter hair colours are better in winter - stronger in summer...

blue and green should never be seen without a colour in between...

girls have their parts on the inside and should therefore never be trusted...

ALWAYS wash ur hands before u have a pee if u have been applying tiger balm anywhere...

men rarely get pregnant so avoid the pill, it will only make u bloat...

u turned back doesn't always mean no...

the internet can sometimes be used for research...

a wipe clean keyboard cover pays for itself in no time...

if u sleep with him BEFORE the first date he will respect u more...

if u get a second date u are entitled to move in...

it is PERFECTLY acceptable to sleep with the postman if he offers to show u his big sack...

it is NEVER acceptable to sleep with a postwoman...

denims should never be ironed...

skittles and vodka = party

u need at LEAST six different types of shampoo at any one time

grey is not a real colour and should never be in ur wardrobe

the ONLY time u should consider having children naturally (ie turkey baster) is if u need spare organs

men can have animee dvds - women who have them are weird (looking at u erythesssss)

finally...

divorce is legal now so feel free to marry but u must register at Brown Thomas [Smile]