Whilst looking at a savage girl standin next to you at the bar...
You: "Hey baby, have you ever given anyone a wank"?
Her: "I may have done"
You: "Well wash your hands and pass me the nuts"

Your Dad was in Brokeback Mountain

When your mate knocks at the door. Open it and say, 'did someone order a Cunt?'

If I throw a stick will you fuck off?

Go take your face for a shit! (put loads of emphasis in the word 'shit')

Thundercunt!

Hairybubbleofspunk

Son of a wankstained syphilitic motherless goat

You have a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle!

Cuntybollocks

Mongloid

Ya Fanbelt

You have a face like a slapped arse.

Thick as a ghurka's foreskin

Cardboard face

Your mother is a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!!!

Ass-raping-kiddie-fiddler

Are you Coconutman's love child?

ShitFacedCockmaster

Cum-guzzling thundertwat!

I used to have that exact same jumper! Then i got a job.

You so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped ya mama

Speculate on their mums hairy armpits. "She looks like she has got bob marley in a headlock"

You are as good as a cock flavoured lollypop

You have a face like a dropped pie!

Your face looks like it's been set on fire and put out with a shovel

Ebaums World Fan !

Fucknuckle

Twunt

The best part of you dribbled down your daddy's leg..................as he climbed off your sister

Turbo cunt

Turd Botherer

Sheep enthusiast

She had a fanny like a wizards sleeve

An old classic. Hold up your middle finger and say "Smell your mum!"

Funny Quotes from Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

Rex I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon: A liger.
Deb: What is a liger?
Napoleon: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed - bred for its skills in magic

Napoleon: I caught you a delicious bass.

Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon: The worst day of my life; what do you think?