Thanks to all those who have sent me email in 2007!!!!!

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about Cockroach in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet tissue with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open incase the tramp who lives in the factory urinated.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program ............

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate!! or three other names that happened to pick my email address!!...

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to At least seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains!!!

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up!!

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with an aftershave sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum!! hard

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £10 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beauticians relative once removed.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!

Thanks Again

Choose Roundabouts. Choose Drug abuse. Choose not to have a career. Choose unemployment. Choose no traffic Lights. Choose a f*cking big television you bought for £20 off some junkie in the Masonic. Choose shi*e shops and officially the worst Town Centre in Britian. Choose Travel Agents, Opticians, Estate Agents and Hairdressers. Choose Pound shops. Choose lots of f*cking pound shops. Choose the Antonine centre. Choose from the four shops currently in the Antonine Centre. Choose from the Travel Agents, Opticians, Estate Agents, Hairdressers and f*cking poundshops that will soon occupy the Antonine centre. Choose Fopp. Or rather don't choose Fopp as they went bust within a week of opening up in the Antonine Centre. Choose Costa Coffee. Choose to sup on a cappuccino with Carbrain's finest neds and junkies. Choose to spend your Saturday afternoons watching mind numbing, spirit crushing football ('Mon the Bully Wee!). Choose underage drinking. Choose Tennants Super. Choose to join a gang whose initials end in 'YT'. Choose Buckfast. Choose street crime. Choose Court Round up. Choose the only town in Scotland not to have a theme pub or cinema complex. Choose The Basement. Choose to believe that it really is 'The City Centre Venue in Cumbernauld'. Choose Papa Doc's. Choose a burst mooth. Choose to wake up on a Sunday morning wondering why the f*ck you're still living here. Choose Sax. Choose to have an ice rink that's been shut for 10 years. Choose Lecky White. Choose to have a ten pin bowling alley that's been shut for 10 years. Choose f*cking Bingo. Choose to vote in a council who build McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut and KFC in the hope the population slowly kill themselves through heart disease.

Choose The Kopper Kettle.

Choose Jeanster.

Choose Cumbernauld

Some tard says if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list and post it to your blog. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. This is somehow fun =S

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 8

( ) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleanders
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 13

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Pie The Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 21

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 26

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 31

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 38

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer (FUCK THIS IT'S EVIL!!!)
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2 (the japanese ones coz i'm not a loser. or am i?)
( ) Surviving Christmas
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 42

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 45

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge (japanese one again =p)
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask (FUCK whoever is desecrating jim films. death on them)
Total so far: 51

(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 59

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 65

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 76

(x) X-Men
( ) X-Men 2
( ) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel In