what!? ........ na! wise up!

i am sitting in the seamus heaney library and i have an exam in - 45 minutes. it is an english exam - i have not read any of the books on the course, but, this should not matter, since most of my fellow students are in the same situation. It would be very easy to go on to sparknotes and unquestionably accept someone elses take on these books, the general consensus opinion if you will. Most of the people in the course are probably doing this. This was my plan when i woke up this morning. I have since changed my mind. I am feeling particularly honest today and really don't want to have to pretend to have read books that i haven't. I do not wish to quote someone elses opinion since i have no idea whether i agree with them or not. I have no interest in lecture notes since they are pretentious prattle and i hated everyone of them. I, perhaps arrogantly, view myself as an artist to the degree that i am fed up of pretending to be interested in things that i am not. This is why humanities subjects at university rot people's brains. In forty five minutes when i come to sit this exam i can imagine i will be able to smell the bullshit. lies, hypocrisy etc. coming from the students writing away. And so this is why i have decided to instead, write an essay on why uni rots peoples brains who are not prepared for it, i imagine i will repeat second year next year anyway, i am not ready for my final year. I need a break from being a pretentious fuck. Such that an english student needs to be. I thought - for some reason - i would spend my last few mintues sitting here before i go - posting my opinions of this exam on bebo - it is like, a warmup, for what i am about to write for 2 hours! hahaha fuck it, i am actually in a really happy mood right now, fulfilled with being true to myself, it reminds me of my GCSE french oral where i went to wetherspoons instead and somehow managed to get served, or my GCSE RE where i decided i couldn't suck up to markers by pretending i cared about the questions being asked; result grade: U . Anyway, very few great authors have an english degree, if any!!? wish me luck. sam

I have been philosophising on the concept of bebo: I like this little pastime, people forget who their friends are all too easily, I have forgotten who my friends are, and then years later seen them walking down the street and thought, ‘jesus! I used to hang around with that person, what in the hell ever happened to that’. with bebo they are there, you can forget about them, you do not need to talk to them, to see them, perhaps you do not even like their company, but nevertheless you hold something for them, a memory, an interest, a mark of respect, and you can view their page and think ‘huh - so that’s what they’re up to’ at which point it is common to receive some sort of smile of content. People used to go into comas, years ago, and wake up five years later with no companions. Although their family was usually by their side, their once companions found it too painful to rebuild a relationship that had been lost, too difficult to rebuild a profile of a friend that had been mourned. They had moved on, and even if they saw their friend again, the gap would cast upon them an inescapable tone of solemnity. Falling into a coma today, and waking up five years later, I’m sure bebo would incite a great deal of comfort. People do, perhaps, not fall into comas that often, but multitudes of people fall into cliques they are not even aware of falling into, unwittingly isolate themselves from a certain line of thought, cast themselves off from once found lines of thought and inquiry, and eventually, find themselves to be bitter, fruitless and narrow minded souls agape with the agony of the deceased characters in their brain, who they never knew to die. Tough times are only made tougher with isolation, but one finds it hard to be humorous, playful, even social, when times are hard, and so they cast themselves off from society at large, bebo should be about rebuilding this woe.

This then, leads on to my main grievance about bebo, why with such an almost ingenious concept, do the makers of this site have to ruin it with petty assumptions. All of my contacts are ‘my friends’ according to this, what if they aren’t, what if they are my companions, what if they are my colleagues, what if they are my long lost brother who I may hate but is on my list because I am interested in who they are, genetically! I don’t want to come on here after a bitter evening listening to Leonard Cohen or something and think ‘half of these people I cannot really categorise as my friends, they are my companions, I don’t know them all that well, some could even be rapists, murderers, witless individuals’ and delete half my contacts! I do things like this, get wrapped up in terminology, and so this ‘my friends’ thing really gets to me. Secondly, when you send a message to someone on this thing it comes up and says ‘Woohoo, your message has been sent’. Well bebo, all I can say to that is, fuck off! What if my message was something important, deep, personal, solemn, what if it was to my long lost brother saying ‘hey - we share some blood I know, but I have made other brothers, throughout my life’ ------ ‘Woohoo, your message has been sent’ Go to hell bebo. What if it was to someone’s partner of five years ‘We have had good times, but I am sorry, I cannot settle with you knowing I have only had sexual intercourse with one race of girl, I must try other races. I hope you understand.’ Woohoo - your message has been sent. This theoretical guy sees this and thinks, my woman is not going to be thinking ‘Woohoo’ right now, and I love her dearly, despite my desire for other races, I still love her dearly, screw you bebo! Countless other things like this seem to present bebo as a device that discriminates against people who do not see everything as some kind of giant joke. ‘hehehehehehehe’ says bebo. Perhaps you see these issues as trivial, but nobody truly knows the extent to which these petty assumptions can hurt the