BRAINROT....this year's biggest killer........ of any chance you may have with a fella!

What causes a seemingly normal easy going girl to brainrot?
The recipe for disaster is simple......
Take one female.
Add 10 Vodkas and shake thoroughly on the dance floor.
Then take one mobile phone and add 20 euro credit.

When female is nicely toasted place mobile phone in hand and sit her on a step outside a chipper.
Give hair a backcombed look and smear lipstick down left side of face for presentation purposes.
Female will then proceed to brainrot any man she fancies!

At first the brainrotting may take a simple form such as ..."RU OUT 2NITE?"

Usually a response will not be forthcoming due to the late hour the brainrotting takes place.

The male is usually:
A. In bed
B. In bed with his girlfriend
C. In bed with his boyfriend (It is not uncommon to brainrot the gay community)
D. Inside the chipper getting himself a breast in a bun and watching you brainrot him on the step outside the window

The brainrotter in question will not react well to the lack of responding texts and will continue to text in an increasingly

desparate manner:

For example:
"Hey Sinead, scored wit Brendan 2nite!" (This is a lie and is used both to make the male "jealous" and start a conversation)

"Ooops, sorry Eoin, that wasn't meant 4u! How ru?"

"Y r'nt u textin back?"

"Ru odd wit me?"

"I cant believe ur bein such an @sshole, I thought we were goin 2 try 2b friends!!"

"D girls told me u were a B@st@rd but i wudnt listen!"

"I never want 2 cu again, I hope ur dog dies!"

"Well..."

"WELL...."

"Sorry, really drunk, I luv u so much"

"Did u get dat last msg? I sed I luv u!"

"Well..."

"WELL..."

"I HATE U, I HOPE U GET RUN OVER BY A BUS"



There may be a slight delay in the delivery time to the brainrottees phone as the texts may be so drunken they will probably have to stop off for a bag of chips on the way.



At this stage the brainrotter is usually in tears and shouting abuse at random male passers-by.

In her mind they are the source of all her problems...after all they are MEN!

Fortunately the brainrotter will be too intoxicated to form a full sentence and will be duly ignored by them!

This condition can befall any female, from the very shy to the extroverted.

The very shy are ususally egged on by their friends who already have boyfriends.

These friends miss the thrill of single life and wish to flirt vicariously through the brainrotter while incurring zero damage to their reputation/dignity.

REMEMBER THE ONE WITH THE BOYFRIEND DOES THE DAMAGE.



If you think you may be a brainrotter, there are ways to prevent this:

A. Make sure there is no credit in your phone when you head out.
B. Give your mobile to a reliable friend to mind. This is not to prevent loss, but to prevent other sneaky friends from brainrotting on your behalf for the laugh.

C. Leave your mobile at home. It is best to put it in your underwear drawer in case you still have the urge to brainrot when you get home. With so many bras and knickers it's hard to locate something in that drawer even when sober never mind while steaming.

D. Delete the potential brainrottees number from the phone. However this will not work in cases where the number is known off by heart.

REMEMBER: NEVER DRINK AND DIAL!!!!