Me and Maria:its so hard to think of a different nickname for gráinne...
Gráinne (McNieve):well when my brother was at school they used to call him al sorts a things like McNob and McNipple.......
Me and Maria:............*looks at eachother*...............
 


Amy-Jayne:god its freezin..fuck this im callin a taxi...
Me:Amy-Jayne wer like 5 minutes away from the house!
Amy-Jayne:yeeeahhh...OMG look!!! a taxi!!
Me:Amy-Jayne thats an ambulance...
Amy-Jayne:yaaa its an ambulance taxi!!!

Amy-Jayne:all he has to do is write me a really quick message...thats all...even a really short one its not like he doesnt have the time...i mean its only gonna take him ONE hour...
Me:an hour?wat is he...dyslexic or somethin?!?!

Me:look i know hes not the best lokin but i luv him!!wat do you think?
Maria:well like i think its grand...as kind of a once-off thing i suppose...
Me:....yeah...wat bout you shely?
Michelle:ammm lets just say hes..........................quirk
 y!!!

Me:are ducks birds?
Fiona:well i preSUME so...
Me:but they can swim....theyr like...multi-talented...
Fiona:theyr like the women of the bird kingdom!

Amy-Jayne:fuckin hell who pissed in YOUR cornflakes!!!

Me:see girls i love this for a change...just chillaxin with a fag and a coffee and a drink for like..the TASTE of it yano?..
Amy-Jayne and Fiona:....ya i get ya...
Me:so.....on the beer this weekend?
The two of them:YA!!!


Erika:HIIIIIII my name is BAAAAAAAAAlll...........

me: "oh i love this song and i love andre bocellis version too.!"
aislyn:"omG! ya i love it too but i just thought its so sad coz yano how he died and all..."
me: " Aislyn are you takin the piss?? your thinkin of pavarotti he died"
aislyn: "who?pava wat?"
me: "aislyn andre bocellis blind but hes not dead!"
aislyn:"uh-oh....!"

*pissin rain down the alley*
Me:ash its pissin rain can we not stand under the shelter?
Ash:noooo my mam will see me..*runs off in her hilarious run and all of a sudden comes runnun back out* ohhh!theres a man in there!!!
and out comes padraig mchugh!!!
(ya had to be there!)


Ms. Eibh Collins!!:mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yak milk!

Me hammered on the bed in the hostel*
dont worry bout a thing k?if im fine il send ya a blank message..if ye get a message with an "x" im DEAD!

Me STILL hammered on the bed* dont lock the door!wat if i need to pee?
Eve:just piss on the bed!!!!!!!

write one memory of me and you together.it doesnt matter if you know me a little or a lot!!!then repost it on ur page and see wat people say about you

Jemaine: Man, back in New Zealand I was getting it on with lots of chicks.
Bret: Who?
Jemaine: Well, ah, Sarah Fitzpatrick, Michelle Fitzpatrick, Claire Fitzpatrick... the list goes on.
Bret: That was all of them.
Jemaine: Well, triple figures.
Bret: No that's not triple figures. That's three.

Dave: Chicks are attracted to lonely guys. It's a psychological analogy.
Bret: What about Eugene? [He motions towards a lonely looking Eugene]
Dave: He knows what he's doing.

Murray: (To Jemaine) I've told you. When you are in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend. Past or present.
Jemaine: Yes, well, thanks for that.
Murray: You get a love triangle, you know, a Fleetwood Mac situation. Although there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no-one gets on.
Jemaine: Ok, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.
Bret: Rumours?
Murray: No it's all true.

Sally: I don't think we should see each other again. I think it's best if we pretended this never happened.
Jemaine: Maybe we could have a break?
Sally: A break? No. There's no relationship.
Jemaine: ...Yet. We could start with a break.

Dave: Look, I don't know how they do things in England...
Bret and Jemaine: New Zealand.
Dave: Yeah, I don't really give a shit.

Murray: Band Agenda. Item One: Haircut Bret.
Bret: No. Haven't had it done.
Murray: Well get it cut. You don't hear about professional musicians with long hair.
Bret: Well, Led Zeppelin?
Murray: No, I mean a man.

Jemaine: (To thugs) You better be careful. Bret knows karate.
Bret: Yeah, I've got a book on karate... haven't actually read it yet.

Jemaine: It's not a cleaning cupboard, it's an apartment. It's my studio apartment.
Murray: More like a 'compartment'

Murray: I thought you said Sally was shallow.
Bret: Oh she's not shallow.
Jemaine: She is shallow, but she's really hot. She's the hottest girl I've ever touched.
Murray: You mean seen?
Jemaine: Well.....yeah but then I touched her.

Bret: So he wouldn't serve us basically just because we're from New Zealand.
Jemaine: Is that the norm?
Dave: Well, you guys are in America now, and there's a lot of prejudism here. Especially towards people like you.
Bret: What do you mean, people like us?
Dave: You know, the English and what not, red coats, the oppressors...
Jemaine: We're not English.
Dave: Be that as it may Jemaine, you're pretty much the most disliked race in this whole country.
Jemaine: What about black people?
Dave They don't like you either. Neither do the Chinese, the Asians, Polish, Russian, Croasians [sic], even the Indians.
Bret: Yeah, but Dave, you're Indian. D'you hate us?
Dave: Yeah, sometimes.
Jemaine: But you're our best friend.
Dave: I know.

Dave:Hot bod, gross face. I get it. Just hit that shit from behind.

Murray: [After rapidly going through the band meeting roll call] I haven't got time for your time wasting.
Murray: I'm so angry I feel like swearing!
Bret: Aww but Murray, you wouldn't swear at us.
Murray: ... Go fuck yourself Bret!

Dave: I think you've gotta use honesty here. I mean, you know, it's always the best policy. Like the other day there was five, well, maybe there was like four really hot foreign chicks- either like Swedish or Korean- in my shop, and they were like 'Dave, we wanna have a five way with you.' I just told them, 'honestly, okay.' Then I gave it to 'em. Hard.

Jemaine: I'm not cryin'. It's just been raining... on my face.

Jemaine: You're so beautiful, like a tree or a high-class prostitute.