I have been with her countless times as a friend approach but all in all I am in love with her and still am.... Oh Vanessa Waboose why do I love you so much.... Even confessing we are still friends and we still have our own unique conversation over yahoo and I still have a sudden urge to want to hold you and say everything is all right... When nights come I wake up thinking will I ever see you again? I feel that I want love you but I am just too weak to say it out loud and am too fucking shy do anything at all but to approach slowly and tackle my goals.... It hurts to say that I am nothing but a friend to you but my inner desires feel we can make things right if we ever be together at all.... It makes me cry that I am far away from you seeing how hurt you are when people pick at you like a ice block being chiseled slowly until it gets to your soft and weakest side.... I want to say "I love you" and kiss you but I am too far away and my shy impairs me like a drunk driver.... Vanessa Marie Waboose I love you..

I should have listened to her,
so hard to keep control.
We kept on eating but our
bloated bellies still not full.
She gave us all she had but
we went and took some more.
Can't seem to shut her legs our
mother nature is a whore.

I got my propaganda I got revisionism.
I got my violence in hi-def ultra-realism.
I'm a part of this great nation.
I got my fist I got my plan I got survivalism.

Hypnotic sound of siren
echoing through the street.
The cocking of the rifles,
the marching of the feet.
You see your world on fire,
don't try to act surprised.
We did just what you told us.
Lost our faith along the way and found ourselves believing your lies.

I got my propaganda I got revisionism.
I got my violence (and) I got ultra-realism.
I'm a part of this great nation.
I got my fist I got my plan I got survivalism.

All bruised and broken bleeding,
she asks to take my hand.
I turn just keep on walking.
But you'd do the same thing in the circumstance I'm sure you'll understand.

I got my propaganda I got revisionism.
I got my violence, I got ultra-realism.
I'm a part of this great nation.
I got my fist I got my plan I got survivalism

Join in my
Join in my Child
and listen...
Digging through
My old numb shadow

My shadow's
Shedding skin
I've been picking
Scabs again
I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in
I wanna feel the changes coming down
I wanna know what I've been hiding in

My shadow
my shadow
Change is coming through my shadow
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again

Journey my...
Journey my child
You need to be shoved through
Closer to me

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
Insecure delusion
I wanna feel the change consume me
Feel the outside turning in
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured in

My shadow
my shadow
Change is coming
Now is my time
Listen to my muscle memory
Contemplate what I've been clinging to
Forty-six and two ahead of me

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through

See my shadow changing
Stretching up and over me
Soften this old armor
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow
Coming out the other side
Stepping through the shadow
Forty six and two are just ahead of me