1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are
3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls arelike dogs. they love to be roughed up.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is, say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies
7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is stare into her eyes mouth the words fuck you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to an itinerant camp. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD
11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroomthey always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party
13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?
14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like rugby.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit
16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be
17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair This way shell go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy
20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.
21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you fucking cunt. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.
22. Nipple Cripples and plenty of them
23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious
24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you lov