Ahoy me bawdy ferrets and fen sucked strumpets n all such nonsical nautical greetings!
the first engagement of my wooden-legged wanderings into these impudent lands of keyboard cowboys is to welcome you all again to my gracious lair of eagerly awaited enlightening schemes.Indeed,many tides have danced in many moons since our last meeting of minds, but thats not to say your presence doesnt put me in a truly albino mood.on with the show.

I come before you this time with an overshadowing sense of anxiety.an anxiety bubbling inside of me, itching to burst out and inform you all of a proposition i wish to put before you.Yes, i come with gifts.gifts of rebellion and resurrection. But before i lay this proposition on the table, let me tell you all one thing.you are far too naive if you believe life is full of innocent laughter and fun.so grab your spears, caskets and nipple clamps my onion eyed comrades and take a seat.
It is from the cold, cruel candle-lit caves of home i come before you.Alas,once again, a return to the clapper clawed village i so dearly love to love and loathe at the same time.When desperately seeking inspiration,its always to darkness i seem to turn eh! And its upon this recent return and the witnessing of such a morbid existence that has my insipid mind stroking its chin and pondering on this fantastic proposal.You see, in my absence i encountered worlds of magical reverence and mystical allure and grace.I was emotionally exploited on a voyage of dazzling experiences where one is completely absorbed and engulfed in an envelope of awe.places where the flies danced operas to my wisdom.the sun worshipped me like elegant tap-dancing fingers, the one-eyed koalas winked and nodded in code of appreciation at my very presence.I moved with the eloquence of disintegrating fuselage through lands laden with extravagant beauty and oceans filled with unfathomable mysteries.I stumbled across manfolk whom in their presence even my shadow acquired the sense of touch.And so to speak of,such serene lands presented me with a tonto,a tarzan’s jane,a homer’s marge,a fred’s Wilma, a bert’s ernie,a loyal crony or whatever you wanna call it.A feisty sidekick who now awaits eagerly behind outback bush,where the spark of anticipation in her blinking eyes is not unlike the glow from the teeth of an electrocuted axe-murderess.soon young sidekick,soon. But waiting for what? you ask,ho ho, now you’ve gone and done it.silent, good pintpot,silent good tickle-brain.My proposal of course.
You see.the sky is black as coal here but I must say,it’s an oddly beautiful stillness.but its still black.there once used to be magical little blue creatures that roamed our enchanted forest here and lived under red spotted mushrooms.the 3-legged chickens chuckled with joy as they would call out my name to join them building daisy chains.euphoric bliss was radiated from the glistening rainbow stained sky at a time when indulging tranquility graced our humble souls.the whistling chorus of “hi ho, hi ho…”,would resonate calmy through the village winds each morning putting a sparkle on the edge of lifes reasoning.ahhh,bliss indeed.But that’s all gone now.now its downtrodden with scurvy-valleyed miscreants whose fingers staple rot into anything they touch.wax paper, boiled football leather and dog breadth besiege us. Beneath this black sky,fiendish derelicts and the spawn of swamp hogs sit in the shadowy corners,nibbling each others toe nails and their eyes shine with the greed of a misplaced tea strain. the 3-legged chickens don’t call to my door these days.magical little blue creatures? pah, the ravenous cats have sinisterly disposed of them.and we’re not hi ho’ing anymore, we’re hiding.how can I possibly resist this maddening urge to eradicate such neanderthal atrocities and bring an end to this unmuzzled, unwashed mountain of mad flesh.It is indeed time then.time to ask you all to join me and let that cold wind of rebellion s