I want to live my next life backwards !!

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day

You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're
generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and
you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in
spa-like conditions central heating, room service on tap, and
then...

You fini sh off as an orgasm

I rest my case.

1)If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Hardly seems worth it.)

2)If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
Now that's more like it!)

3)The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to
the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

4)A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

5)A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it
starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

6)Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

7)The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is
attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

6)The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. can you imagine??)

9)The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

10)Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over
quantity)

11)Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

12)The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

13)Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

14)Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

!5)A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

16)An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

17)Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

1 Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

19)Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.
What about that pig??)

Just a few Questions
(copy and paste to my blog then fire away!)

1 Who are you?.......
2. Are we friends?........
3. When and how did we meet?........
4. Do you hav a crush on me?.........
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?........
6. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
7. Describe me in 1 word........
8. what was ur first impression ov me?.......
9. do u still think the same?......
10. What reminds u of me?.....
11. If you could give me anything what would it b?......
12. How well do u know me?......
13. Whens the last time u saw me?.....
14. Eva wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
15. Are you goin 2 put this on ur blog and c what i say about u?.....