stack has a nice rack
id do her in the sack
if she was on crack
id give her a wack
she sat on a thumb tac
nd hurt her crack
so we gave her a tic-tac
she lyks a guy named jack
hus second name is black
she lyks to wear mac
her face looks lyk a guy got a hack
nd jus went to town!

MEGANS POEM!!(written by me)

megan is a whore
omg i just swore
her face looks lyk she ran into a door
she makes all the guys roar
as if they were all a boar
when she drinks she ends up on the floor(or cians bed)
do you want more....?

LAURAS POEM!!(written again by me)

laura is uncool
she makes all the boys druel
her face looks lyk a tool
her personalities really cruel
she walks lyk a mule
her friend jenny rule(s)
i challange her to a dual
bt shes still my crap faced friend!

THE JENNY POEM!!(written by laura)

jenny is great
even tho she looks about 8
she has no mate(s)
when we met it was fate
she's never late
and shes the worlds biggest slate
(because 'ate' is the new way you spell 'ut' work it out)
jenny's great!!

Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!
Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight

Brian: You're drunk.
Stewie: You're sexy

(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch

Stewie: Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster

Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter)
Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!

Stewie: Damn, must have pulled something playing hoops last week. (Goes to flashback of Stewie playing basketball.)
Stewie: I know you ain't puttin that rock up from here, cause you ain't got no J! (Stewie trips basketball player)
Baskeball player: Yo man, that's trippin!
Stewie: Brotha please, you're the one who's trippin'! Now go on! Cry home to your momma! She waitin' for ya!
Basketball player: Now don't make me stick my size thirteens up yo narrow ass!
Stewie: Oh, sweet! Bring it on bitch! Now how you gonna act?! (Basketball player walks away.) Jeeze! Bringin that trash in here. Dis is my house!!!

Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?

Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made out of?
Stewie Griffin: Sunshine and farts! What the hell kind of question is that?!

Stewie: I'd love to stay and chat but your a complete bitch, so bye!

Lois: I know you don’t like broccoli Stewie, but you'll thank me when you grow up big and strong like your father.
Stewie: A compelling argument. You've swayed me, woman. Mmmm. That is good. Oh I feel stronger already. Mmmm it's good tasting and good for you.

Lois: Oh my God, my baby's drunk!
Peter: No I'm not! Oh--him. Yeah, he's a real lig

Me: What r ppl from Iceland called?
Megan: Polish! oh no w8 their ppl from Holland oh no w8 their called Dutch!

Lorna to me: I thought your dad owned AIB bank cos i thought the B in it stood 4 buckley!!

Megan: Is Arsenal like a place?

In france i poured my tea in2 my cereal bowl cos dey looked practically the same!

Lorna when we were playin a game in a free class kept tryin 2 tell me had the right answer in a game i made up: No u dont understand im right
Me: No ur not ur way off
Lorna: No i definately have it i know im right!!!
It went on like that 4 a gud while!

Mr Simmons explainin the rules when we were doin our JC: Now absolutely no eating or drinking
Megan: Bt can u drink water!

Ailbhe to a fly: Exuse me get off my shoe plz!

Lorna (out of no where): If its cold here I wonder what the weather is like in Russia?

Lorna in departures in the airport: It looks like every1's going sumwhere!

Lorna (again out of no where): My auntie once grew a 4 leaf clover!

In the JC megan answered a long question in Science on a topic we had never done!

Walkin up the stairs wit megan nd all of a sudden I trip on the last step nd keep fallin nd then bang in2 the wall nd then my bag falls over my head! so basically im there lyin on the ground nxt to the wall not being able 2 c cos my bag is over my head!!!!

In France laura got stuck in the toilets in a pub bt realised after a while she was turnin the lock the wrong way!

Also in France i was aimin 2 kick laura's bag bt missed nd kicked her full force in the ass!!!!! oops!

Megan: pigeons r like rats with tails!!! wtf???????????

Joanne looking at a map of france tried to show us where she was born in Romania???????

Constance: oh sheet (oh shit)

Ailbhe (havin a spa attack): I put the screw in the tuna!!!!!!! (out of nowhere may i add)

Megan: i have an eagle on de back of my euro! ha i have an american euro! (nd she wasnt jokin)

Megan: Who elects de president?

Me: What would u call irish and english mixed together?
Ailbhe: I know English!
(ye thats kinda already a language!)

Every1's talkin nd out of nowhere Lorna goes:
Here shut up my dad brought me choclate and im really annoyed

We were in geography in 1st yr nd joanne was really giddy and mr rhatigan was tlkin about like the medival times r somethin and how the roads were really narrow so joannes decides 2 ask:
How did the cars get through!

Megan(again) in mc donals: ha dat guys name is hen, quack
(no that wud b a duck megan!)

At tgi fridays lorna goes to the waitress: actually instead of friday fries can i have chips!

Me at the arena:so hu's playing?
Laura:Ireland nd Portugal what gave it away the name on the back of the jerseys!

Megan:Are these people really from portugal!i thought they were just given countries to play 4!

Megan oston the windy city!(or maybe thats chicago megan!)

Laura to me (soakin wet!)h was it rainin?(no i jumped in2 the shower fully clothed b4 i left the house!)

Me to lorna:so can you drive?
Lorna:ye bt not on the road!

Me:I have such a good...memory,wow nearly 4got the word!

Ms Durkin: Megan Conas ata tu?(how are you?)
Megan: Megan is ainm dom!(Megan is my name!)

Ms Byrne:eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmm
 mmmmmmmm(ridiculously high voice!)

again Ms Byrne:eeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Ms Byrne once again:MEGAN tdtdtdtdtdtdtdtdtd!

Megan (tlkin bout goin in2 the cinema): we'll just say were underage
Megans mum:What underage popcorn?

Me to Lorna:I cant believe u stole my bar i was only gone 2 the bin!
Lorna:well if u had noticed,WELL IF U HAD NOTICED!

Megan hu cnt speak:squick(quick)
filfulled(fulfilled)

Me:ill tuck ur shop!

oh nd i thought mope-ed was mope-head cos no1 tld me ne different!(dnt know how 2 spell either!)

At the party some knackers come along nd ask if theres a party!just as everyone is sayin no gerry comes out from the house singin "they