Paul O Connell can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.

When Paul O Connell was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “< Paul O Connell”.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Paul O Connell spared your life.

Paul O Connell won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

What color is Paul O Connell’s blood? Trick question. Paul O Connell does not bleed.

Paul O Connell once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

When Paul stares into the sun, the sun flinches.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Paul O Connell says its beef. Then it’s beef.

James Bond has a license to kill. Paul O Connell don’t need any licenses.

Paul O Connell’ calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Paul O Connell.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Paul O Connell. Sounds like a fair fight.

Paul O Connell played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Paul O Connell once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

You can lead a horse to water. Paul O Connell can make him drink.

Paul O Connell once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Paul O Connell jumps out.

Simon Says should be renamed to Paul O Connell Says because if Paul O’Connell says something then you better do it.

Killing Paul O Connell doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Paul O Connell does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

When Google can’t find something, it asks Paul O Connell for help.

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Paul O Connell way. It’s basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

When Paul O Connell watches a pot, it boils immediately.

Paul O Connell once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball point pen. This lead to the phrase “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

Paul O Connell has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Paul O’Connell.

Superman wears Paul O Connell pyjames

People with amnesia still remember Paul O Connell