"His armband said he was a red
Torres Torres
You'll never walk alone it said
Torres Torres
We bought the lad from sunny Spain
He gets the ball and he scores again
Fernando Torres Liverpool's number 9
na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
FERNANDO TORRES LIVERPOOL'S NUMBER 9!"

[the family returns home]
Brian: Boy, I sure hope they find him. Otherwise we're all gonna be-
[a gun cocks, camera cuts to Stewie]
Stewie: So, it's all out in the open now, isn't it?
Peter: Stewie, uh, how long you been all messed up and evil like this?
Stewie: Oh, so now you're interested in Stewie? Last week when I made that macaroni picture of an owl, you didn't give a damn!
Peter: That was an owl?
Stewie: Yes, and now we're going to look at it again. [hits Peter in the knees, knocking him down, and drags him screaming over to the picture. Stewie begins yelling while holding a gun to Peter's head] LOOK, LOOK! DO YOU LIKE IT?!
Peter: [fearful] Yes.
Stewie: WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT IT SPECIFICALLY?!
Peter: I don't know...
Stewie: PICK SOMETHING OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!
Peter: I like... how it looks like an owl?
Stewie: THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!! [Stewie walks away; Peter curls in a ball and starts sobbing]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe: [knocking on the door] Hey, everything okay in there? I heard shouting.
Stewie: [points the gun at Brian] Dog, answer it. Tell him "Yes, everything's fine."
Brian: [opens the door] Yes Joe, everything's fine.
Joe: Ah, okay, good.
Stewie: [hiding behind the door] Make fun of his wheelchair.
Brian: What?
Joe: What?
Stewie: Do it! Say "Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you're in a wheelchair."
Brian: [to Joe] Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you're in a wheelchair.
Joe: What's that supposed to mean?
Stewie: Say "I bet you can't get a boner."
Brian: [to Joe] I bet you can't get a boner.
Joe: That's not very nice, Brian.
Stewie: "Neither is your mother's ass."
Brian: [to Joe] Neither is your mother's ass.
Joe: Well, I'll give you that one.
Stewie: Now tell him you've always thought he was handsome.
Brian: [to Joe] I've always thought you were handsome.
Joe: Well, I gotta tell you Brian, I'm relieved to hear you say that. Please call me if you see any sign of Stewie.
Stewie: Tell him "Ha ha ha ha ha ha, just kidding about the handsome thing.
Brian: Oh come on.
Stewie: Do it!
Brian: Come on, that meant a lot to him. [Stewie cocks the gun] [to Joe] Ha ha ha ha ha ha, just kidding about the handsome thing.
Joe: Ah, well that's, uh disappointing. I needed that boost today.

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train
cause we're going down the tracks." The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nicelanguage."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train.
Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."
She heard her little darling continue: "For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen...."