A penis request
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

WOULD YOU?
[_] kiss me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] take a shower with me?
[_] be my bf/gf?
[_] Would you let me sleep in your bed?
[_] have a relationship with me?
[_] Stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] Carress my body?
[_] Play strip poker with me?
[_] Say yes if i asked you out?
[_] Get wasted with me?
[_] Hang out with me?
[_] Bring me around your friends?
D0 Y0U...
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle with me?
[_]think im weird
ARE WE...
[_] friends?
[_] in a relationship?
[_] gonna have kids?
[_]enemies?
AM i...
[_] sexy?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] adorable?
[_] Annoying?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?
HAVE Y0U EVER...
[_] thought about me?
[_] found yourself wanting to kiss me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?
ARE Y0U...
[_] happy you know me?
[_] thinking bout me?
[_] going to copy this so that i will return the favor

1. Your Name:

2. Age:

3. Fave Color:

4. Are you a virgin?

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Are we friends?

2. Do you have a crush on me?

3. Would you kiss me?

4. ...with tongue?

5. Would you enjoy it?

6. Would you ever ask me out?

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

11.Would you walk on the beach with me?

12. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

13. Do you/have you talked shit about me?

14. Do you think I'm a good person?

15. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?

17.Do you think I'm hot?

18. If you could change anything about me -would you?

19.Would you have sex with me?

20.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

22. what do you rate me outta 1-10