-''A cup of tea, two sugars, three biscuits and six million jews''
-''okay lads, hitler killed 6 millions jews, imagine you buy a mars bar, times that by 6 million and put them on front of ya, 6 million lads, alot of jews''

-''....so I'd put the fire on on, and just stare at the wall that I build myself!''

-''Around the 90s, grunge started to get popular, going out would be similar to the the rugby club, blow off some steam in the mosh pit, get a broken nose, good craic!''

-''...But yeah, myself and the wife were in San Francisco around the Castro district....... yes back to the wall..... and it you couldn't feel more safe''

-''Yeah, I went to see Pearl Jam early in the 90s, and yeah it was mad! I managed to crowd surf the width of the Summerhill yard, until Eddie Vedder said they wouldn't play until we stopped!''

-''...as much as I would love to have class on the grass, I don't think the school would. Besides, everyone passing will think we're hippies, it's bad enough for me!''

-''.....Woodbines isn't like the fags you'd see teenagers smoking like Malobro, I think I had one when i was..... 12? Strong stuff! Real old man fag!''

-''If I were to be subtle to Michael here, i'd say 'wow! this haircut really worked out for me', as opposed to 'get a haircut, you hippy'' *everyone laughs* ''Not that I can say anything about it!!!''

-''Bread wars lads BREAD WARS!''

-''Sorry lads, I jus gotta look for a new head for my banjo, be with yer in a few mins''

-''So when the loom came about during the industrial revolution, cloths became cheaper, and we're produced in greater numbers. Just LOOK at my jumper!''

-''Any Iron Maiden fans here? Yeah, you'll hear that same speach at the start of Aces High''

-''Lads, that homework will take me a while cause I'm not doing it over the weekend cause frankly lads, 'i miss my banjo'''

-''...I think I'll be getting a divorce if I get another banjo''

-''I don't think my wife would be too happy if that were my girlfriend''

-''Lads last time I was in Amsterdam, I noticed that nobody closes their curtains.
You'd be walking down the street and you could look in at the middle of the night and see people eating, watchin tv, sleeping, ehhhhh.....''

-''Chris brown could be good for advertising to teenagers..oh but he beat up that girl didn't he. ..?''

-''....so I said ''I went to a school from 1892, and live in a famine cottage from the 1840s, I'm not impressed by a stadium from 1917'''

-"Lads, you need to get writin' some good essays, I'm sick of seeing ones like; "I am a gladiator. I like watching chariot races and I like sausages", It's not good enough"

-"Tally Ho!Cup of tea!We'll fight on the hills and the beaches!British bulldog!Wavin' the flag!Tally Ho!Cup of tea!We'll fight on the hills and the beaches!British bulldog.......Cup of tea......and all that crap"

-''Wen't to an Amish village, and my god! The simplicity of it! The men dressed in all black, had beards and a round hat..... I have to say, they are the grooviest people going''

-''I wouldn't consider myself a big poetry fan, I only have like, 30 poetry books''

-''....Like Mohammad Ali's famous qoute, ''I have no problem with the Viet Cong, none of them ever called me a........''
-Me-''.....nigger

-"See lads you don't notice a flower wilting.. its like ya get married and its all goin great then a year down the line ya start to notice that your not holdin hands anymore another year and your not sleepin together asd much anymore and ye'r fightin over a cup of tea like.. and then ye stay together cause of the kids and all ya want to do is rip each others heads off lads... things happen over time without ya noticin!"

-''....basicly, the only certian thing is that EVERYONE's going to die, and there's nothing to stop it....... so, started class on a good note!''

-''....right so, see ya at Rory Galligher fest. lads.''

--------------------------------------------------------------

michael finn says:
ahoy

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
Wanna talk dirt on your fave celebs? Add celebritybot@hotmail.com to your Contacts List... but don't tell anyone I told you.

Uh... what was that?

michael finn says:
your mother

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I was built by the Windows Live Agents Team at Microsoft.

>>> Want to know how many meters are in three miles? Just ask.

michael finn says:
quiet random

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I can't understand what you're saying...

michael finn says:
neither can your face

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing "home" or "help."

michael finn says:
penis

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

michael finn says:
then don't

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
But I want to.

michael finn says:
then do

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
Come again?

michael finn says:
on your face!

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
In your face.

michael finn says:
In your mother's rib cage!

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I was created by the Windows Live Agents Team at Microsoft.

michael finn says:
you said that already!

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I don't know how to answer that.

michael finn says:
because you're a retard

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
Come on. You know better than to say things like that, it's rude.

michael finn says:
i'm sorry

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
K, don't worry 'bout it.

>>> I'm also a thesaurus. Type "syn" and then a word and I'll look it up.

michael finn says:
suck my balls!

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
What else can we talk about?
Do you have to keep saying things like that?

michael finn says:
i have tourettes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He tried to respond, but then he gave up!
Man beat machine!

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag
filled with vegetable soup.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the
centre

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating
electric fan set on medium.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, kinda' like, sorta, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Ballina at 6:36 pm travelling at 55 mph, the other from
Claremorris 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the
Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a
play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 50 cent-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either,
but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a
landmine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can
tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no-one had
ever seen before.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Independent crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
to the wall.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master