HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a
face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a
face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it
twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same
mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same
time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

how u know u experianced the 90's!

1) 10p Mr Frosty Ice Pops on long summer days!
2) Gordon the Gopher! Edd the duck!!
3) You could do or tried to do the Prodigy step. 'You're no good 4 me....'
4) You owned or longed for an Adidas three stripe tracksuit
5) You owned a compilation tape with TOP TUNES such as "Mr Vain", "What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer" and 'How Bizarre, How Bizarre"
6) Girls thought Blue Mascara was cool!
7) Girls actually fancied Garry Barlow more than Robbie Williams
The Racoons!
9) You owned a pair of Nike Air Max, and wore them to death
10) Mr Motivator
11) Running on the spot dancing!
12) You wore leggings/cycling /bermuda shorts , with long t-shirts
13) You owned a Bennetton, NafNaf or sweater shop jumper
14) Girls owned scrunchies in an array of colours and tacky headbands with their names written on in thick glitter
16) You bought Smash Hits for the song lyrics and the immense amount of stickers that you would stick everywhere!
17) You had a pen pal
1 You could only watch the Simpsons on sky
19) On a Saturday afternoon you watched Catchphrase,Gladiators, Generation Game, Noels House Party and then Casualty
20) You taped the Pepsi Chartshow on radio one and tried in vain to pause the tape before the annoying guy (Dr Fox) talked and ruined the whole thing.
21) Cans of Coke were 25p
22) 10p Space Raiders Crisps
23) A grey Fruit of the Loom jumper was a must have
24) Sharkie & George were the crimebusters of the sea
25) Puffa jackets
26) You used the line "it's a free country" every day
27) The Sky Sports Blimp!
2 Impulse body spray for girls
29) Hooch Alcoholic Lemonade
30) 'Don't forget your toothbrush', 'TFI' and Big Breakfast with Chris Evans
31) You had at least one troll
32) You know the dance to Macarena and Saturday Night. You also
tried to scat like Scatman John! Bi bat ba ba da bo...
33) You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie & Sharni got together!
34) You watched Byker Grove 'ha ha ha whatcha laughin at!' (the
theme song ending), used to say "Why-eye Spoogy" and saw PJ get
shot in the eye with a paintball!
35) PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec! Dodgy Pop Not Dodgy Presenting!
36) Shellsuits & bumbags!
37) You longed to live in Beverley Hills 90210
3 Home and Away was a prime time ITV programe watched by millions
39) You owned a Spice Girls album
40) Fruit salads and black jacks!
41) Strike it lucky on a sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married
42) Chain letters
43) You had fake ID
44) You remember Todd Landers in Neighbours
45) You religiously watched Saved by the Bell on a Saturday morning!
46) You more than likely lost/nearly lost a wobbly tooth on a wham bar!!
47) CK one
4 Going Live, then Live and Kicking was the place to be on a
Saturday Morning - you know you remember the number 081 811 8181
49) You knew (or still know) every word to the theme tune from Fresh Prince of Bel Air
50) You collected Premier League Stickers or Pogs and did swops at playtime
51) Girls wore crappy lipstick such as - coffee shimmer, heather shimmer and birthday suit!
52) You wore kickers and wallaby's with the tags hanging from them
53) You said "I know you are, but what am I" to every slagging that that came your way!
54) "love got the world in motion" with the John Barnes Rap
"So catch me if yer can, cos I'm an England man (with a dodgy
barbados accent)"
55) when you used to run away from some thing and shout 'boost!'
56) Dont push me, push a push pop!!
57) the fun house with pat sharp's dodgy mullet!! with the twins melanie and martina!
5 Girls watched Clueless over and over
59) Doc Martins were the coolest school shoes

in the beginning, the lord god almighty, sitting on his throne on high, turned to his mate, the archangel gabriel and said" to day i am going to create scotland. I will make it a country of dark beautiful mountains, purple glens and rich green forests.i will give it clear swift flowing rivers and i will fill them with salmon.The land shall be lush and fertile, on which the people shall grow barley to brew into an amber nectar that will be much sought after the world over.Underneath the land, I shall lay rich seams of coal.
In the waters around the shores, there will be an abundance of fish and beneaththe sea bed there will be vast deposits of "oil and gas"
Excuse me sire, interrupted the Archangle Gabriel, "dont you think you are being a bit generous to these scots?"
shit no" replied the lord, "wait till you see the fucking neighbours i'm
giving them.